Worst Jokes Ever
Why do Scottish men wear kilts?
Sheep can hear unzipping trousers from a distance of 100 yards.
Cancer is like a video game.
Some people cannot beat it.
What's worse than sucking a dozen raw oysters out of your grandmother's cunt?
Putting in 12 and sucking out 13.
Stephen Hawking is not dead; he just needs to charge.
There's two types of emo people:
1. People that cut side to side.
2. And people that cut up and down.
The most efficient is up and down.
A depressed man was caught on top of the Empire State Building with marijuana. Needless to say, he didn't want to come down.
What do you call a Mexican that smokes weed? A baked bean.
What is the last thing that goes through a fly's head when it hits the windshield?
Its butt.
What's the best thing about fucking 21 year olds?
There's 20 of them.
These are all really nice jokes, but here is one.
Boy: Spell ME.
Girl: M-E.
Boy: You forgot the D.
Girl: There is no D in ME.
Boy: Not yet.
What did Gordon Ramsay say to Hitler?
“Oh my god, put them back in the damn ovens! They’re so under-cooked they’re writing fucking diaries!”
Are you made of Gold, Titanium, Sulfur, Titanium, and Carbon?
Cause damn, you lookin' kinda Au Ti S Ti C!
Daughter: Mommy, what ever happened to Steven Hawking?
Mother: He died.
Daughter: How did he die?
Mother: He never got recharged.
What do you call cows that have a sense of humor? -- Laughing stock.
Your dick is so small it's the size of a tic tac. Oh, that's why your mom's breath was so fresh last night.
Q: What's a German's favorite Undertale character?
A: Gaster.
What's worse than a pile of dead babies?
One at the bottom that's still alive.
What's worse than that?
It's forced to eat its way out.
What's even worse than that?
It comes back for seconds.
Why did the cow jump over the moon?
Because the farmer had cold hands!
How did Jesus like his chicken?
Crucifried.
Why do you put a baby in a blender feet first?
So you can watch the expression on their face.