Worst Jokes Ever
Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance party? Because he had NOBODY to dance with.
When you're driving past a graveyard say: "Wow, people were just dying to get in there."
Why did Susie fall off the swing?
She had no arms.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not Susie.
How many dead babies does it take to put in a new light bulb? Not thirteen, cuz my basement is still dark. Let's try fourteen.
Yo mama's so stupid, when they said, "Order in the court," she asked for burgers and fries.
What’s the difference between Michael Jackson and a pimple? You never see a pimple come on a little boy’s face.
How are laundry and Michael Jackson related?
They both got bleached!
Michael proved anything is possible in America. Where else can a poor black boy grow up to be a rich white woman?
Somebody called the cops for a school shooting, what a snitch!
Stephen Hawking:
Q: Who Made Stephen Hawkins' Wheel Chair?
A:) Tesla
A man dies, and his friend is invited to his funeral.
This friend asks his wife, "Can I say a word?"
"Of course," she says.
The man stands up and says, "Plethora!"
The man's wife says, "Thanks, it means a lot!"
Stephen Hawking always wins musical chairs, as he’s always sitting down.
Skidaddle skidoodle, your dick is now a noodle!
My sex life.
These jokes are nearly as dead as Steven Hawkings.
Oh, sh**! I'm late for my interview! Do you know where the nearest sex offender registry is?
What's a rapist's favorite scale?
C Minor.
Don't break someone's heart because they only have one; instead, break their bones... they have 206.
A mathematician stumbles home drunk at 3 a.m., and his wife is livid. "You swore that you'd be home by 11:45!"
"No," slurs the mathematician, "I said I'd be home by a quarter of 12."
Justin: Hey.
Josh: Hey man.
Justin: Why only "man"?
Josh: It feels weird saying the r a c e y names.
Justin: I don't mind.
Josh: Okay, S L A V E.
Justin: Oh no, not T H A T one!