Worst Jokes Ever
Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?
To get to the bottom.
What is it called when Bill Cosby and an illegal immigrant fight?
Aliens vs. Predator
A slag is like the first piece of bread in a loaf. Everyone touches it, but nobody wants it.
What is a school shooter's favorite animal?
A Desert Eagle.
What do you call a short black person?
By their name, you racist!
A blind guy shot up a town.
I guess he couldn’t see the road to heaven.
Me: "I like kids."
Why couldn't the lizard get a girlfriend?
Because he had a reptile dysfunction!
Mooning is very astrological!
Your forehead's so big, it's built like Megamind's robot, period.
I was walking by a prison when I saw a midget in an orange jumpsuit climbing down the fence. When he hit the ground and sneered at me, I said, “Well, that’s a little condescending.”
What's the difference between a baby and an onion?
One cries when you peel its skin off, the other makes you cry when you peel its skin off.
People say I should be proud of my autism, but truth be told, I'm only in it for the help in class.
Why shouldn’t you pick on a midget with learning difficulties?
... Because it’s not big and it’s not clever.
What has two legs and is red all over?
Half a cat.
JFK did a good job spreading around on his final speech.
A pedophile is playing poker with 8 seven-year-olds.
The pedophile has a pair of 7's and three 4's in the river. He smiles and says, "Yay, I got me a full house!"
Commander: "Fire a warning shot."
Soldier: "Sir, this is a M32 grenade launcher."
Commander: "Potato, potato, just fire."
Soldier: *fires M32 grenade launcher near a pre-school*
Commander: "They're trying to run, TAKE THEM DOWN!"
Your dick is so small it's the size of a tic tac. Oh, that's why your mom's breath was so fresh last night.
There was a boy named Sammy, and he was deeply in love with a girl named Rayne. But she didn’t notice him or talk to him. But one day, she did, and they end up liking each other and getting married and lived happil- wait no, that’s not right. Sammy snuck in Rayne’s house at night and kidnapped her, locked her in his basement, and turned her into a puppet so she'd be with him forever and ever. The End.