Worst Jokes Ever
A wife says to her husband, "You're always pushing me around and talking behind my back." "What do you expect?" he says, "You're in a fucking wheelchair!"
What's the toughest stain to wash off a little boy's underpants?
Michael Jackson's lipstick.
What kind of man would be a lesbian's best friend? A decimen.
Teacher: Hey Timmy (the quiet kid), what comes after X?
The quiet kid: Splosion.
Teacher: What comes after A?
The quiet kid: AK-47.
Teacher: Faints.
Did you hear about the man who jumped off a bridge in France? He was in Seine.
What do my parents have in common with Nemo? They can't be found.
What’s another term for a lesbian?
A vagetarian.
What's the difference between dad jokes and bad jokes?
The letter b.
How to make time fly?
Answer: Throw a clock out of the window.
Why do French people like to eat snails so much?
They can't stand fast food.
Cashier: "Will you want the milk in a bag today, sir?"
Customer: "I’ll just keep it in the carton if you don’t mind."
Whoever killed Adolf Hitler is MY hero!
What does food and dark humour have in common?
Not everybody gets it.
Do you know why you should never let a blonde handle grenades?
They'll end up only throwing the pin.
What did the sand say when it got into a fight with the ocean?
"Oh my God, you're such a beach!"
How many times does 42 go into 9?
Get in the van to find out.
If you put a million monkeys at a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Java program.
The rest of them will write Perl programs.
What's 10 inches and makes women scream?
Cot death!
Did you know that French fries aren't from France? They're cooked in Greece.
How does a gay man trick a heterosexual man into giving him a blowjob?
The gay man asks the heterosexual man if he wants to give him a "brojob."