Worst Jokes Ever
Do you like pudding? Pudding deez nuts in your mouth!
Why don’t orphans know how to use a phone?
Because they don’t know where home is.
I was shopping for a halloween costume, but once we got to the ghost section all of the costumes were out of stock! It turned out Pristiano Penaldo was buying them all! I came up to him and asked why he was doing this and he said: I’m sorry, but it’s match day, I must be a ghost 👻👻
What does a mother fear most?
Hearing "YOU ARE NOT THE FATHER!" for 5 different men.
What do you do with a dead chemist?
You Ni-tro-gen!
Preventing suicide is best done by committing it.
Suicide isn't a joke. It's called "parkour gone wrong."
I just planted emo grass.
Ignore it and it cuts itself.
My friend had an allergic reaction after he ate a peanut.
We got his EpiPen to help him when Penaldo appeared because he heard the word "PEN". He tried stealing the pen, but I said, "No pens for you," and "Brentford". He cried and ran away. Shame on you, Penaldo the fraud!
Was invited to the inauguration of an I-pad.
We were all ready to begin the event. I was supposed to cut the ribbons, but before I could do that, Penaldo jumped outta nowhere and shouted, "I DON'T WANT I-PAD, I ONLY WANT TO STATPAD!"
Shame on Penaldo for ruining the event! 😡
How do you know if spaghetti is a boy or a girl? It's meatballs.
Twin Towers? No Jenga!
I'm the second worst thing to happen to those orphans.
A man went into a library and asked for a book on how to do suicide, and the librarian said, "Fuck off, you won't bring it back."
I rate you a 9/11.
Two cows are grazing in a field.
One cow says to the other, "You ever worry about that mad cow disease?"
The other cow says, "Why would I care? I'm a helicopter!"
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because there would be no home base.
Why was the tower of Pisa leaning?
They had better reflexes than the trading center.
All these suicide jokes are f***ing killing me.
What's the difference between a bridge and a burrito?
I can't jump off a burrito.