Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call a heterosexual man performing fellatio on another heterosexual man?
Bisexual.
How many line cooks does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Three. One to do it, and two to say that they did it better at the previous restaurant they were at.
Wait, isn't this Sans' job to make a joke?
What did one needle say to the other?
"You be looking sharp!"
My best friend ran away with my wife. I really miss him.
PERSON: I need to go so bad!
TOILET: Long time no pee!!!
The retards take the ancestry tests at 24andMe.com.
What’s a bird’s favorite movie?
The Parrots of the Caribbean.
What was the one test that Steven Hawking couldn't pass?
reCAPTCHA
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He’s not breathing and his eyes are glazed.
The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911.
“I think my friend is dead!” he yells. “What can I do?”
The operator says, “Calm down. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.”
There’s a silence, then a shot. Back on the phone, the guy says, “OK, now what?”
What’s the difference between a hoe and a rooster?
A rooster says, "Cock-a-doodle-doo," and a hoe says, "Any cock will do."
Why does it take three women with PMS to screw in a lightbulb?
IT JUST DOES!!!!
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?
Hot wheels.
How does Moses make his cup of tea?
He brews it.
There is a man in the hospital. The power went out, and the man was stabbed to death. There are three witnesses: the nurse who was with another patient, the doctor who was reading some paperwork, and The Who who was at the vending machine. Who killed the man?
The mom did, because you can’t use a vending machine when the power's out!
Patient: Oh, doctor, I’m just so nervous. This is my first operation.
Doctor: Don’t worry. Mine too.
What do priests and McDonald's have in common? They both shove their meat between 10-year-old buns.
Trump, must I say more?
Most people smother babies with love.
I smother them with pillows.
There is a young man smoking and a woman in a wheelchair. The woman says, "Why is a young man like you smoking?" The man turns around and says, "Why the fuck are you wearing trainers?"