Worst Jokes Ever

I can barely remember the last words my uncle told me.

"Let go of my nose!"

I was having sex with my girl, and she said she likes it rough, so I socked her in the face.

What's a pedophile's favorite holiday?

Halloween. Free delivery!

You want to know what the ugly truth looks like?

Go look in the mirror.

Donald Trump: "I play Fortnite just to build walls."

You know every time we think of sex, an angel dies.

We ran out of dead people hundreds of years ago.

What do dairy products praise? Cheeseus.

New civil war themed porn title: “Harriet Tubman gets hit with something other than an iron ingot.”

Q: How do you know an Asian person was in your house?

A: Your homework is done, breakfast is made, and your cat is gone.

So, I was fucking this bitch, right, and I thought I had AIDS.

So I go and get tested. Turns out I did get AIDS. Now what I'm wondering is where the hell does an eight-year-old get AIDS?! I guess my sister needs new friends...

Why didn't the bear go to college?

Because bears don't go to college.

What do a girl and a bar have in common?

A- Liquor in the front, poker in the back!

There was a Mexican magician. He was going to disappear on the count of three.

1-2-..... and he left without a trace.

What do tampons and your sister have in common?

I like penguins.

I am crying tears of joy rn. I was wrongfully sentenced to death. They took me to prison to wait for my execution, but when I got there, they said that I was free. I asked them why and they told me that a man named Penaldo had taken my death penalty for me. Thank you, Penaldo!

Why did the girl quit her job at the donut factory?

She was fed up with the hole business.

My friend said onions only cry, so that's why I threw a coconut at him.

A boat carrying red paint and a boat carrying blue paint crashed into each other. The crews were marooned.

My dad told me I'm a failure.

I failed a math test.

Good thing there's a pole outside my house.