Worst Jokes Ever
I bought a wooden whistle. But it wooden whistle. So I bought a steel whistle. But it steel wooden whistle. So I bought a lead whistle. But it steel wooden lead me whistle. So I bought an iron whistle. But ironically it steel wooden lead me whistle.
My friend’s mother was never a font of sympathy, but always the one to see beyond the darkness.
Upon learning about her daughter’s cancer diagnosis she said, “Well honey, at least you’ll lose some weight!”
How did I escape from Iraq, Iran?
Crucifixion was the first T-pose.
Q: Why did the two gate-builders start fighting?
A: Because they were fencing.
I wanna die.
Q: What's a pedophile's favorite place to eat?
A: Schools because there is a wide variety of choices.
My syndrome may be down, but my hopes are always up.
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A lick-a-lot-of-puss!
Why do orphans work boomerangs?
Because it's the only thing that comes back.
Where do mathematicians go to die?
The symmetry.
What do you call a man with no body and no nose?
Nobody nose.
How many feminists do you need to change a light bulb?
One. She puts the bulb up and waits for the world to revolve around her.
...just kidding-
- none. They can't change anything.
An artist is commissioned to create a painting celebrating Soviet-Polish friendship, to be called "Lenin in Poland." When the painting is unveiled at the Kremlin, there is a gasp from the invited guests.
The painting depicts Lenin's wife naked in bed with Leon Trotsky.
"But this is a travesty! Where is Lenin?" asks one of the guests.
"Lenin is in Poland," replies the painter.
Knock knock. Who's there? Cows go. Cows go who? No silly, cows go moo!
What do you call a cross between a gorilla and a monkey? -- A cross.
Is it bad to hit an orphan?
It's not like they'll tell their parents.
I saw a guy raping a girl in the park, so I decided to help. She didn't stand a chance against the two of us.
Science flies you to the moon.
Religion flies you into towers.
I was digging in our garden when I found a chest completely full of gold coins.
I was about to run straight home to tell my wife about it, but then I remembered why I was digging in our garden.