Worst Jokes Ever
I was shopping for a halloween costume, but once we got to the ghost section all of the costumes were out of stock! It turned out Pristiano Penaldo was buying them all! I came up to him and asked why he was doing this and he said: I’m sorry, but it’s match day, I must be a ghost 👻👻
What is the similarity between orphans and apples?
They both get thrown out.
Why did the ocean break up with the pond?
Because the pond was too shallow.
Yo mama so tall, she was next to Neil Armstrong on the moon.
What do you call an act of “funny” discipline? A PUN-ishment!
Person A: What do you call the dangly bit of an octopus?
Person B: Tentacles?
Person A: Ok *tickles person B ten times*
What commitment does a pimp make to each new hoe he turns out?
Answer: He will always be there for her after the break-in period.
What do you get when I get mixed with coffee?
De-presso.
What happens when you are playing Undertale, but it's snowy in town? It SNOWED in town!
What did the bee say after the execution? "The criminal has been beeheaded!"
Fennec users lmao.
Why does Waldo wear stripes?
'Cause he doesn't want to be spotted.
What instrument can a skeleton never play?
An organ.
My boy, I think it is about time that I leave this world. Now draw your weapon and kill me now!
*draws a picture of his "epic" sword*
"What... WHAT... WTH ARE YOU DOING SIMPLETON? I DIDN'T MEAN THAT KIND OF DRAW!"
What flowers are on your face?
Why did the chicken cross the road?
He was just feeling like he needed a break, you know? Life is hard when you're a rooster looking after your hen and chicks. He just wanted a sense of normality, walking out of the farm. He felt light-headed, staring into the distance. Then, at this very moment, he realised it was his darkest hour.
Join us for more of the story, after the break!
Why do shepherds never learn to count?
Because if they did, they would always be falling asleep.
If having sex for money makes you a wh*re, then what does having sex for free make you?
Non-profit wh*reganisation.
What’s the difference between orphans and blind children?
None. Neither can see their parents.
A girl walks into an Adult Store. "Hi, I want to buy that red dildo right there."
Cashier: "That's a fire extinguisher, you whore."