Worst Jokes Ever
Q: Give a man a day of therapy, he'll be sad for then and on.
A: Give a man a noose, he'll be sad for the rest of his life.
The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumeference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
Stephen Hawking walked into a bar...
What goes "Ooooooo"?
A cow with no lips.
One day, there were two muffins in an oven. One of the muffins said, "Man, it's hot in here." The other one said, "Oh my god! A talking muffin!!!"
What does a dyslexic zombie eat? Brian's, hahahahaha!
A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire? "HOT WHEELS"
"Amen, "Amen," "Amen."
Hail Satan.
............
Oh, sorry. I forgot which religion I was pretending to respect.
Where were the first orange trees 🍊🌳 planted?
In Orange County.
I was going to talk about your chin, but I wasn't sure which one to write about.
The cemetery is so crowded, people are just dying to get in.
Why do orphans always have water with their cereal?
Their dad never came back with the milk!
So, a man finds a woman on a train track while he's on his way to a bar, and they had a lot of sex.
When he gets to the bar, he brags about the different sex positions they used, and one of the guys says, "Oh, did you do head?"
He responded with, "No, I couldn't find the head."
What do a blind person and an orphan have in common?
They both cannot see their family.
What's the difference between Woody from Toy Story and a Catholic priest?
One goes limp when a child walks in the room.
Why do orphans kill people so they can finally be wanted?
Why did the orphan get kicked off the baseball team?
He would never make it home base.
What do rocks and girls have in common?
The flat ones get skipped.
Roses are red, balls are round, skirts are up, panties are down, belly to belly, skin to skin, when it's stiff, stick it in.