Worst Jokes Ever
What's white and can't climb a tree?
A refrigerator.
Where do you find a turtle with no legs?
Right where you left it.
I was pretty tight friends with my butt plug. But then we had a falling-out.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high and grabbed Jill's thigh and said, "You know you wanna." Jill said, "Yes," and lifted up her dress. Then they had some fun, but silly Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a son.
🧀: C’mon tomato!
🍅: I’m trying to ketchup.
🧀: You’re a mile away.
🍅: I am a tomato! It’s not that easy for me to ketchup.
I went to see my grandfather in the hospital because I wanted to get to know him better before he passed, maybe take a selfie with him. But when I got there my phone died, so I unplugged a vacuum to plug in my phone. And it turns out he only knows Spanish, so when he kept saying, "Me desconectaste el soporte de mi vida," I thought he wanted water. But when I got back with the water he was asleep, and now my phone was charged, so I translated what he said. And it was, "You unplugged my life support." That's when I called the doctor...
Good news is, I got one sick selfie!
What do you call a sad, depressed artist? Anything but "Cows of Woe".
What's the best part about dead baby jokes?
They never get old.
Why couldn't anyone hear Helen Keller when she fell off a cliff? She was wearing mittens.
What's a cannibal's favorite dessert?
Lady fingers.
America.
I am throwing a party in space. Can you help me planet?
Why do pedophiles go to a nursery?
Early access.
What is a pig crossed with a pineapple?
A porkypine!
Two blondes fell in a hole and one asked, "It's dark in here, isn't it?" and the other one says, "I don't know, I can't see."
What do apples and witches have in common? They both hang on trees.
What's the difference between $1 million and baby teeth?
I don't have $1 million in my wallet.
How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? That's a silly question. Feminists can't change anything.
Why were the Twin Towers upset? They ordered Domino's but got jets.
Kenny's favorite part of living in his mom's basement is sleeping with the landlady.