Worst Jokes Ever
What's the difference between Bird flu and swine flu?
For one you get tweetment, for the other you get oinkment.
What is Beethoven's favorite fruit? Ba na na na.
A Mexican boy said, "I can't do this." Then a guy says, "You can do it, we are Mexican, not Mexicant."
What's the difference between my dad and my stepdad?
My stepdad beat my ass before he left.
Why was the guitarist arrested?
He fingered a minor.
Why did the cheetah get disqualified?
Because he was a cheetah, duh!
What did the skeleton say while riding his Harley Davidson motorcycle?
I’m bone to be wild!
How do cows laugh?
Moo-haha.
Roses are red, violets are blue, Fortnite is dead and so are you.
Your forehead's so big, it makes Kanye's ego small.
What’s the difference between 911 and an abortion?
With 911 there was a victim to tell the tale.
What happens when a computer thinks it knows better than a human?
Ask Boeing.
If Al Gore started a math rock band, it should be called Algorhythm.
What is common in my AirPods and the Titanic?
They sync properly.
What is the difference between a whore and an onion?
You don't cry when you chop a whore.
A little girl and a little boy are taking a bath together when the little girl looks down and asks, "What's that?" The little boy says, "That's my little red race car." 10 minutes later, the boy looks down and asks, "What's that?" The little girl says, "That's my little red race car garage."
So later that night the boy asks the little girl if he can put his little red race car in her little red race car garage. She says yes, and they pull down their pants and the boy tries putting his little red race car in her garage, but it won't fit. Downstairs, the mother hears an ear-piercing scream and runs upstairs, flips on the lights, and sees blood on the floor. The mother asks, "What happened?" The little girl says, "We tried putting his car in my garage and it wouldn't fit, so I cut the back wheels off."
Why did Michael Jackson dangle his baby out the window?
He was airing his blanket.
Therapist: So how depressed would you say you’ve been feeling lately?
Me: I don’t care anymore if my foot hangs over the bed where a monster can get it.
Therapist [whispering]: Jesus, wow.
What's black and screams?
Stevie Wonder answering the iron.
What's the smartest crime?
3rd degree murder.