Worst Jokes Ever
A young boy is stood on the top of a cliff crying. A priest approaches and says, "Why are you crying my son?" "My parents just crashed the car off the cliff and died." "It's just not your day today is it?" Said the priest, unbuttoning his flies.
Why are most absent dads mechanics?
They like to nut and bolt.
What do a mag and a clip have in common? They are both good at school.
Why did the orphan go to church?
To hear some "foster" parenting advice.
I Googled "How to start a Wildfire." It gave me 28,452 matches.
Used to laugh at Michael Jackson for wearing gloves and a mask...
Yet here I am, stuck at home in this COVID-19 "Thriller," beating it...
What's the difference between a priest and a pimple?
A pimple will wait until you're 12 years old to come on your face.
What has four legs and one arm? A doberman at the playground.
A daughter asked her mother, “Mom, how do you spell ‘scrotum’?”
Her mom replied, “Honey, you should have asked me last night—it was on the tip of my tongue.”
What do you call an LGBTQ person getting grilled? LGBBQ.
The lines on the pride flag look pretty straight to me!
What do you call a rich Chinese person? Cha-ching!
Ask Siri what rich North Koreans are there.
Siri: "I could not find anything for this question."
What's a Mexican's favorite insect? A grasshopper.
Yo mama so fat, when she took a picture of herself, her phone ran out of storage.
What part of the vegetable is the hardest to eat? The wheelchair.
Israel and Palestine jokes are hard at these times.
It’s all about execution.
What do you call lesbian sex during their period?
A blood transfusion.
My son was thrown out of school for letting a schoolgirl wank him off.
"That's the third school this year..." I said to my son, "... Maybe teaching isn't for you."
I love all races, even the bad ones.
Jesus and Moses come back to Earth.
Moses says, "Let's go down to the ocean and see if I can do what I used to when I was here before." So Moses raises his arms and motions to part the waters. Sure enough, he is able to part the waters just as before.
Jesus quips, "Close the water, I'm going to try to do what I used to when I was here last." So Jesus walks out on top of the water, then sinks to the bottom. He crawls out pulling seaweed off of him. Moses says, "Hey, it's not your fault, you didn't have those holes in your feet before."