Worst Jokes Ever
What did the Chinese family name their retarded kid? Something Wong.
A kid is arrested for a school shooting threat. He is then apprehended and asked why he wanted to do this. He responds with, "What do you mean? I already did it." Then the police ran back to the school to apprehend the other people he was planning it with. The cops busted in through the doors, which caused a smoke trap to go off, which then the cops saw three people walk in and the police begin to fire. But as the smoke began to clear, the cops saw that the three people were 16 kids duck taped to rolling poles, 4 per pole. Back at the station, holding the kid being apprehended, the kid puts his feet up on a chair and said, "Aww, it pays to be lazy!"
Most people say I'm a clown. Yet they don't laugh at my jokes. Most people avoid me because I'm a "clown". Yet I'm not the center of the circus. But I know I'm gonna be a clown forever. Because I can't take this damn mask off, no matter how hard I try.
Weeks later: Finally I found out why I'm being called a clown...because my smiling face is fake...
How do you keep a mute woman you've raped from telling on you?
By cutting off her fingers.
I was walking down the street when I thought I smelled my ex's perfume. Turns out, I was standing in front of a fish market.
If you’re forced to have it as a child, you won’t like it as an adult.
I guess Hitler was forced to have vegetables when he was younger.
Did you hear about the guy who got electrocuted?
It was quite a shocker.
What's the difference between an elephant and a feminist?
The feminist is overweight.
Americans won't have a Thanksgiving Dinner this year. Why not? They sent their turkey to the White House.
"I wasn't that drunk yesterday."
"Oh boy, you took the shower head in your arms and told it to stop crying."
I identify as kilometers per second because I want to km/s.
What did the make-a-wish kid say to the staff? "I don't wanna go to Disneyland, I wanna live longer."
I wish my lawn was emo, because then it would cut itself.
What do you call a funny cow?
A cowmedian.
Are you a Samsung Galaxy Note 7? Because I want to explode in you!
What is the best thing about being buried alive or burning to death?
No funeral costs.
A nun walked into a bar with her clothes on inside out. The bartender asked her about it, and she replied, "It's a bad habit."
How do you knock out 26 kids in one punch?
You give them a Sandy Hook.
What did one piece of toilet paper say to the other? "I feel really wiped."
Man, my Muslim friend's the bomb!