Worst Jokes Ever
Why did Hitler kill himself?
He didn’t want to pay the gas bill.
Why don't catholic kids lose their virginity in their 20's?
Because they lost it to a priest when they were 5
What is the most popular game at the orphanage?
Need For Speed: Most Wanted.
Once i was walking along the beach and there was a girl with no arms or legs there, i walked by and she said excuse me, will you touch me ive never been touched before, i was like okay so i touched her, i kept on walking along and there was the same girl, she said sir will you kiss me, i went alright so i went up and kissed her, i thought that was weird but anyway i kept walking along and there she was again, she said sir will you fuck me? I went okay so i picked her up and threw her in the ocean and went YOUR FUCKED NOW
Why did Helen Keller sign the n-word?
She thought she was black.
POV: Someone stole Michael Jackson's baby: "He he stole my bab(y), he he."
What’s the worst song to play in front of a vegetable? “James Brown - Get on Up”
What’s the worst song to play in front of a handicapped kid? “Van Halen - Jump”
What's the worst song to play in front of a black man in Minneapolis? “I Can't Breathe - Juice Wrld”
What do you call a banana eating a banana?
Canabananalism.
Person: "Doctor, doctor, I've only got 50 seconds to live!"
Doctor: "Just give me a minute!"
What sucks but doesn't suck?
Vacuums!
Suicidal ideation is like wanting to slaughter someone but knowing/feeling that you can't. It's also, in a way, kind of like seeing a really hot chick that you wish you could F, but you again for whatever reason you either feel you can't or you just can't.
What do bees do when they get married?
They go on a honeymoon.
Papyrus ran headfirst into a windmill. Guess you can call him a bonehead.
Your hairline's so messed up that even Martin Luther King Jr. couldn't have a dream about it.
I bought my cousin a trampoline, she started crying. She was in a wheelchair.
Nice! Angry Birds really has improved.
Everyone in my class: "I can't wait until I have a family, I can't wait to study for my dream job."
My friends: "What's your dream job?"
Me: "I'm going to die young :))"
Why did mommy disappear? The dad: Well, when she crossed the road to get to the chicken, she only made it halfway.
Jack and Jill went up the hill, each with a buck and a quarter. Jill came down with $2.50, that fuckin' whore.
Why can’t Jesus eat M&Ms? They keep falling through his hands.