Worst Jokes Ever
How do you know if someone is a vegan or has run a marathon?
They'll tell you.
A couple is on their first date.
Man: How do you feel about sex?
Woman: I like it infrequently.
Man: I see. Is that one word or two?
Why does a queen have more mobility than the king in chess?
Because the board looks like a kitchen floor.
How do you know your wife is dead?
The sex is the same, but the dishes keep piling up.
What is more fun than throwing a baby off a cliff?
Catching it with a pitchfork.
These days, there are only two political parties in India: BJP and anti-BJP.
I guess that corn is a-maize-ing.
What did the angel say when it went to heaven? Well, halo there!
It was dinner in the plane, and the flight attendant asked the passenger if he would like dinner.
"What are my choices?" the passenger said.
"Yes or no," the flight attendant replied.
What's a Latino's favorite sport? Lacrosse.
Did you hear about the two people who stole a calendar?
They each got six months.
What's the difference between homework and a hooker? They both start with an "H", but we all know which one we would like to do.
I've got 99 problems and one of them is that I count my problems instead of solving them.
Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field.
How do you fit a baby in a bowl? ... A blender... and how do you get it out?
Tortilla chips.
Stephen Hawking must have got a MacBook Pro. End of battery.
My girlfriend told me to stop playing Pokemon as it was childish.
I started thrashing about and roared, “You don’t have enough badges to control me!”
Your career might be in the north, but it's going south :)
Why does the mushroom 🍄 have many friends?
Because it’s a fungi.
This Fairy Tail shirt is only $9.99! Guess you can say that's a fair retail.