Worst Jokes Ever
what's the difference between an onion and a baby?
nobody cries when you cut up the baby.
What's the difference between peanut butter and jam? I can't peanut butter my dick up your ass.
I'd make 9/11 jokes, but they'd just crash and burn.
School and Boot Camp are a lot alike. The only difference is that in school, you don't have to get deployed to get shot at.
What do you call a roach in milk?
A roach con leche. 😂
What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? "Wow, hairy!"
Jim and Allyn are 2 mates in the Air Force. They were paired up for a training exercise. They got up into the air and Jim said, "Okay Allyn, your helmet can control the missile when launched from the jet. Go ahead and test fire a missile and aim it at anything you want." Allyn fired the missile and had his eyes set on an abandoned building. Jim then said, "I also forgot, watch out for friendly fire." Allyn said "What?" as he looked over at Jim.
I never knew the kid at school had autism. I always just thought he was walking into cobwebs.
Give a man a fish, feed him for a day.
Give a man a poison fish, feed him for a lifetime.
How do you circumcise a redneck?
You kick his sister in the jaw.
Why is it so easy to bully an orphan? What are they gonna do, tell their mum?
What does a phone and a grandma have in common? They both die.
What's the difference between them? If you shove something up your grandma's ass, she won't come back to life.
What's the difference between an ISIS training center and a school?
I don't know, I just fly the drone.
What's a good way to masturbate?
Get somebody to do it for you.
How do you get a dishwasher to shovel snow? Give the bitch a shovel.
Why won't Trump be subject to impeachment?
Answer: Because Republicans in Congress insist that every baby be brought to full term!
Why is Stephen Hawking good at skateboarding? Because he's always on the ramps.
There were two peanuts walking down an alley. One was assaulted.
What's an alien's favorite computer key?
The space bar!
What do you call Helen Keller in a pitch black, sound proof room?
Unnecessary.