Worst Jokes Ever
What do french fries 🍟 do when they meet?
They ketchup.
How do you help a constipated person?
You scare the shit out of them!
What do you get when you throw a baby into the wheat thresher?
An erection.
Named my dog Syndrome, so when he sits on my couch I can say, “Get down, Syndrome!”
What do women have on an empty stomach? A miscarriage.
Why did lil Susie fall off the swing? She didn’t have any arms.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Not lil Susie.
What do you call the place where an octopus is sitting?
Octopied.
A guy goes to see his psychiatrist dressed only in bubble wrap. When he gets there, he asked the psych, "Can you please help me?"
The psych says, "No, I'm sorry, I can clearly see your nuts."
Spongebob is yellow, and he can't drive.
Must be Asian.
What's the one good thing about pedophiles? They slow down near schoolzones.
What did one cell say to his sister when she stepped on his toe? Mitosis!
What’s the difference between a bird and a human?
“We don’t eat with our peckers.”
Where do rabbits eat breakfast?
IHOP.
Stage 4 cancer is like a woman. You can’t beat it, but if you do, she’ll probably come back again.
What do you call your brother in Alabama? Daddy.
Am I the only one who gives people in the neighborhood names they don't know they have? Like "Blue truck dude", "Loud dog guy", "Nice old lady with the rose bushes", "That slut across the street."
Q. How much cum does a gay guy have?
A. A butt load.
So, I was fucking my daughter the other day and my wife walked in... I don't know what was funnier: the look on her face, or that the abortion clinic let me keep her.
I heard a pretty juicy rumor about butter, but I decided I didn't want to spread it.
How does NASA organize their parties? They planet.