Worst Jokes Ever
Chuck Norris can make an omelet from Kinder surprise.
Why do some men call their testicles "bells"? Because it's next to their "ding-dong."
Ever heard of a rape victim with Alzheimers? Yeah, neither have they.
A Down syndrome kid asks for an ice cream. The man asks, "Do you want sauce on it?"
The kid says, "It doesn’t matter, I’m going to drop it anyway!" 😂😂😂
My girlfriend is a porn star. -- She will kill me if she finds out.
Why can't orphans play online games? Because they don't have parents to sign them up.
The optimist thinks the glass is half full. The pessimist thinks the glass is half empty. The feminist thinks the glass is raping them.
Johnny is very attached to his parents. He asks to take a shower with her when she gets in. He looks down and asks, "What's that?" The mother replies, "That's my garage." He looks up and asks, "What are those?" The mother responds, "Those are my headlights."
He then goes and takes a shower with his dad. He looks down, "Daddy, what's that?" The dad replies, "That's my car." He goes to sleep that night and wakes up because of a bad dream. He goes and tells his mother and she says, "You can lay with me." He falls fast asleep then wakes up once more because of falling off the bed. He gets back up and gets under the covers. Then he feels the bed moving. He looks under the covers to investigate and sees them going at it. He then yells, "Mommy, turn on you're headlights, Daddy's parking his car in you're garage!" *THUD*
I wasn’t understanding what I had to do for homework, so my teacher said, “Let me break it down for you like the Twin Towers.”
You're so fat, astronomers discovered a planet larger than Earth but smaller than Uranus.
A blind guy walks into a bar.
your mom
What's the difference between calling someone dad or daddy? How you come from his balls.
My girlfriend lives a few miles away from me.
The other night, she called me at around 3 AM. She was terrified. She said that there were two armed gunmen in her apartment.
With all that adrenaline going through my system, it made it hard to go back to sleep.
Can orphans go to a family restaurant?
How do you execute a retard?
The Electric Wheelchair.
Why was Hitler bad at math?
He could only count to nein.
Why doesn't Mexico compete in the Olympics?
Because all the Mexicans who can run, jump, and swim are in the U.S.
What is the sun's favorite chocolate bar?
A Milky Way 😱
What's the difference between a man and a table?
The table doesn't cry when I break its legs.