Worst Jokes Ever
Get up, you lazybones!
Chuck Norris once ran all the way around the equator and kicked himself in the back.
What sort of file turns a one inch hole into a two inch hole?
A pedophile.
My grandma refused to be an organ donor. She was buried with all her musical instruments.
Yo mama's so old, when she was a girl, rainbows were black and white.
What is the worst thing you can find out about a woman on a first date?
She claims to have been raped. Then, you know to get as far away from her as possible because she's probably a feminazi bitch.
Why did Stephen Hawking die? He didn't pay his electricity bills.
I heard the man who invented Autocorrect died; may he rest in peace.
God: “Steven, join us.”
Sees the staircase to Heaven.
Steven: “Ahh, fu-”
In a normal country, they have lemonade. In Soviet Russia, they have Leninade: "Refresh yourself with a cold war."
One day I was walking around, then saw this mom mad at her kid and screamed, "You're adopted!" He said, "Yeah, I know. My REAL mommy is still at home with daddy."
Why does Stephen Hawking only do one-liners?
Because he can’t do stand-up.
Why did the rape victim think it was Christmas?
Because her clothes were torn off like wrapping paper.
What do you call a gay threesome?
A Sloppy Joe.
What do you call terrible milk?
Udder Bullshit.
What’s the best thing about 28 year olds?
There’s 20 of them.
Why did Trump decide to build the wall?
Because China built a wall and they do not have any Mexicans.
Q. Two gay guys are having sex, when suddenly the house catches fire. Who gets out of the house first, the guy on top or bottom?
A. The guy on the bottom because he already has his shit packed.
Everyone laughs when a bully teases someone, but no one laughs when that person commits suicide.
Old Mother Hubbard went to the cupboard to get her poor dog a bone.
But when she bent over, Rover took over, and gave her a bone of his own.