Worst Jokes Ever
I wasn’t understanding what I had to do for homework, so my teacher said, “Let me break it down for you like the Twin Towers.”
A blind guy walks into a bar.
your mom
What's the difference between calling someone dad or daddy? How you come from his balls.
My girlfriend lives a few miles away from me.
The other night, she called me at around 3 AM. She was terrified. She said that there were two armed gunmen in her apartment.
With all that adrenaline going through my system, it made it hard to go back to sleep.
Can orphans go to a family restaurant?
How do you execute a retard?
The Electric Wheelchair.
Q. What do you call a gun that rapes someone?
A. An assault rifle.
Why doesn't Mexico compete in the Olympics?
Because all the Mexicans who can run, jump, and swim are in the U.S.
Why was Hitler bad at math?
He could only count to nein.
Why is there no toilet paper at KFC?
Because it's finger lickin' good!
What is the sun's favorite chocolate bar?
A Milky Way 😱
What's the difference between a man and a table?
The table doesn't cry when I break its legs.
When the teacher calls on you and asks you how many people did Hitler kill?
"One, he killed himself."
A couple is sitting down, holding hands, and having a picnic after their wedding when the husband's friend walks over and says,
"Jenny and Jonathan sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G. First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes abrupt, tragic miscarriage! Then comes blame. Then comes despair, two hearts damaged, beyond repair. Johnathan leaves Jenny, and writes on the tree: D-I-V-O-R-C-E."
Doctor: "You're as healthy as a horse!"
Jimmy: "That's great!"
Doctor: "A horse with cancer."
What shoes do pedophiles wear? White vans.
How do pedophiles fit in? They force it to go in.
How do you make a 16 mm hole into a 40 mm hole? A pedophile comes in.
What did Santa say when he was passing over some hookers? "Ho ho ho!"
Q: What's the hardest thing about losing your virginity?
A: Making sure she doesn't wake up.
The only thing I do straight is vodka.
Why can't orphans work at S.C Johnson?
Because it is a family company. 😂 😂