Worst Jokes Ever
Don't you just want to go on a mass murder while listening to goodbye Moonman? Oh, just me... OK.
Why aren't koalas actual bears?
Because they don't meet the koalafications.
Birthdays are weird. We celebrate being one year closer to dying. And we celebrate it with friends and family, which is totally not how we'll die.
We're all gonna die alone, not surrounded by friends and family.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to go and have some fun.
Silly Jill forgot the pill, and now they have a son.
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert. They found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie popped out and granted them each one wish. The redhead wished to be back home. Poof! She was back home. The brunette wished to be at home with her family. Poof! She was back home with her family. The blonde said, "Awwww, I wish my friends were here."
Go commit Thanos finger snap.
A teacher is doing an experiment about taste. She tells each student to line up so she can give them each a lifesaver, so they can tell her what flavor it is. She gives Suzy a pineapple one. Suzy tries it, says the flavor, and then goes and sits back down. That is the same for everyone, then it is Jhonny's turn. The teacher hands him a honey flavor one. Jhonny chews it for a while, then says,
"Teacher, I don't know what it is.". The teacher tries to give him a hint and says, "it's what your parents call each other when you are asleep". Immediately the boy behind Jhonny screams, "Spit it out Jhonny, it's an asshole!!!"
How many orphans does it take to "test drive" a bus? It depends on how much space the orphanage has and how much space the cemetery has.
What is the difference between a baby and a watermelon?
One is a refreshing summertime snack; the other one is a watermelon.
Chuck Norris can make a fire with two ice cubes.
Why does the nurse need a red pen?
In case she has to draw blood.
what do you call a baby in an oven?
my next meal.
What do you call a patronizing criminal walking down the stairs?
A condescending con descending.
What do you call a boomerang that never comes back?
Daddy.
What did music tell the pancakes? -- B flat.
Rust in peace.
Why do Roman Catholics always call their minister father?
because Roman Catholic men between 18-29 years old received a free anonymous blowjob inside the confessional booth at the glory hole.
what do you call a lazy gay?
someone who comes straight out of the closet, and goes straight to the couch.
Two gay guys, two lesbians, and two pedophiles have a race.
What is the order of finish?
1. Lesbians. Doing 69 the whole way.
2. Pedophiles. Coming in a little behind.
3. Gay guys. Still packing their shit.
Want to hear a joke?
Fortnite.