Worst Jokes Ever

What do you call an hourglass with no sand in it?

A waist of time.

Girls are like math, if they're under 10, use your fingers.

Yo mama so fat, she was the iceberg that sank the Titanic.

How do you make an emo jump?

A cliff.

What do you call a Mexican under a carpet? Underlay, underlay.

I was wondering why the basketball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

What would fall out of a tree first, a depressed person or a feather?

Answer: The feather wouldn't. The rope would stop the person from falling all the way.

Did you hear about the light bulb party? Yeah, it was pretty lit!

Q: How do you know a wishing well works?

A: If your mother-in-law falls down it.

What does Mrs. Grapes 🍇 love the most?

Raisin' kids.

I will always remember my uncle's last words, "What's the shovel for?"

I like my women how I like my wine.

Aged 9 years and lives in the basement.

Why did the boy throw the clock out the window?

He wanted to see time fly.

What do you call an Afghan in the bath? A bath bomb.

Q: What do you call a shed full of black fellas?

A: Retired Farming Machinery.

I now know what my first tattoo should be, zebra stripes! Not like anyone would know the difference between them.

The toilet paper tried to cross the road. He couldn't because he was stuck in a crack.

What was the last thing to go through the heads of the 9/11 jumpers?

Their ankles.

What is a tower's favorite bagel? I don't know, but it sure as hell ain't plain.

Kurt Cobain didn't mean to kill himself. He was just so high he thought the shotgun was a bong.

His lyrics are so ironic but so true. "I'm not coming back". "I swear I don't have a gun."