Worst Jokes Ever
If Stephen Hawking has a heart attack, do you take him to Halfords or A&E?
This is really mean...
A man put a blind man in a circular room and said, "Your dinner's in the corner."
The reason why the "eating a tide pod" trend ended so fast is because everyone that did it died.
When was the first Black Friday?
1619.
Why did Mia Khalifa become so famous?
Because she blew up.
If you turn the word "racecar" backwards, it says "racecar".
But if you turn the racecar sideways, you have Paul Walker's blood on your hands.
Where did Lucy go during the bombing?
Everywhere.
Osama Spin Laden, dropping beats like the twin towers.
What do you call shaving a crazy sheep? -- Shear madness.
How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?
What makes you think feminists can change anything?
I once heard my dad shout, "I'm going to be like Frozen and let it go!" Then I heard a gunshot.
Q: If George Washington was alive today, what would he do?
A: Scratch mercilessly at the coffin walls, while screaming at the top of his lungs!
My friend died from an allergic reaction. He gave me an EpiPen while he was dying, so now I have something to remember him from.
The good thing about dead baby jokes is that they never get old.
What's the second to last letter in the alphabet? Y. Cause I wanted to know.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
My asian neighbors dinner.
Someone raped my ear, now I have hearing aids.
Tombstone engraving: "I TOLD you I was sick!"
Is Google a girl or a boy?
Obviously a girl, because it won't let you finish a sentence without making a suggestion.
Bill Gates teaches a kindergarten class to count to ten. "1, 2, 3, 3.1, 95, 98, ME, 2000, XP, Vista, 7, 8, 10."