Worst Jokes Ever
I once fought with a man in a wheelchair.
He couldn't stand a chance.
Q: What comes before 47?
A: AK
Why can orphans never be kidnapped?
No one can tell them that "your parents said that they would be delayed and I was told to pick you up."
You know what I saw today?
Everything I looked at.
Why does the Norway navy have barcodes on the sides of their ships?
So when they return to port, they can Scandinavian.
Your mama is so stupid, she bought tickets for Xbox Live.
Why did the slave go to college?
To get his master's degree.
How do you know you’re ugly?
If you always get handed the camera for group photos.
Jack and Jill went up a hill to smoke a little leaf.
Jack got high and dropped his fly, and Jill said "Where’s The beef?"
A new drug has been developed for lesbians with depression.
It’s called Trycoxagain.
Woman: "I want coffee, black."
Cop: *takes out gun* "WHERE?!"
My aunt used to say, "Slow and steady wins the race." She died in a fire.
I won the lottery for a million dollars today, so I decided to donate a quarter of it to charity.
I now have $999,999.75.
My wife called me a pedophile. That is a big word for a 2 year old.
Jack and Jill went up the hill each with a buck and a quarter. Jill came down with $2.50 and Jack came down smiling.
Why are mountains never serious?
Because they’re hill areas.
I named my horse Mayo.
Mayo neighs.
Which way did the cow jump over the moon?
- The Milky Way!
I can't find out where Stephen Hawking is from, I just can't place his accent.
If Stephen Hawking is dying, where do I take him, Currys PC World, or a hospital?