Worst Jokes Ever
You're so fat, astronomers discovered a planet larger than Earth but smaller than Uranus.
A blind guy walks into a bar.
What do you call it when Hitler puts retards in the oven? Baked potatoes.
your mom
What's the difference between calling someone dad or daddy? How you come from his balls.
Can orphans go to a family restaurant?
My girlfriend is a porn star. -- She will kill me if she finds out.
What do you get after a leper has a hot bath? ... Porridge.
Why was Hitler bad at math?
He could only count to nein.
Why doesn't Mexico compete in the Olympics?
Because all the Mexicans who can run, jump, and swim are in the U.S.
What is the sun's favorite chocolate bar?
A Milky Way š±
Q. What do you call a gun that rapes someone?
A. An assault rifle.
When the teacher calls on you and asks you how many people did Hitler kill?
"One, he killed himself."
A couple is sitting down, holding hands, and having a picnic after their wedding when the husband's friend walks over and says,
"Jenny and Jonathan sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G. First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes abrupt, tragic miscarriage! Then comes blame. Then comes despair, two hearts damaged, beyond repair. Johnathan leaves Jenny, and writes on the tree: D-I-V-O-R-C-E."
Doctor: "You're as healthy as a horse!"
Jimmy: "That's great!"
Doctor: "A horse with cancer."
What shoes do pedophiles wear? White vans.
How do pedophiles fit in? They force it to go in.
How do you make a 16 mm hole into a 40 mm hole? A pedophile comes in.
What did Santa say when he was passing over some hookers? "Ho ho ho!"
The only thing I do straight is vodka.
Why is there no toilet paper at KFC?
Because it's finger lickin' good!
Why can't orphans work at S.C Johnson?
Because it is a family company. š š
What do you call a grown-up orphan? Homeless.