Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call a skeleton who went out in the snow? A numb skull!
What do skeletons hate the most about wind?
Nothing, it goes right through them.
Why is the thief so good at basketball? Because he can shoot, steal, and run.
So there was this kid being bullied by four other kids. I decided to step in.
He didn’t stand a chance against the five of us.
billie: hi.
me: You wanna hear a story?
billie: Yes, sure.
me: Once upon a time, I ran over your dog last night.
Son: Dad, do you remember your first blowjob?
Dad: Ohhh yeah, I do!
Son: How did it taste?
Dad: Get out.
How do you confuse Helen Keller? You rearrange the furniture and glue doorknobs to the walls.
Why are white teenagers the best for the army? They are good at shooting things up.
A blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom.
She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, "I've kidnapped you."
She then wrote a note saying, "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next to the slide on the north side of the playground. Signed, Blonde."
The blonde then taped the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents.
The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree. The blonde opened the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow Blonde?"
What do you call it when an orphan takes a family photo? A selfie.
A cop pulled me over and shouted, "Papers!" I shouted, "Scissors!" and drove off.
Q: If Adolf Hitler was a sea creature, which would he be?
A: Adlof-in.
My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships.
You know how to get 10,000 followers? Run through Africa with a bottle of water.
Titanic - "Yo, look at that sexy babe of an iceberg, let's hit her!"
They say Chuck Norris's tears cure cancer, too bad he doesn't cry.
What do city plumbers and pedophiles have in common?
They both lay pipes in public parks.
All rape can be prevented. It's just a matter of semantics.
I tried to catch the fog, but I mist.
It's all shits and giggles till somebody giggles and shits.