Worst Jokes Ever
Friend: How dark is your humor?
Me: It picks cotton.
What is a pedophile's favorite part about Halloween? -- Free delivery.
Some people think "prison" is one word, but to robbers, it's a whole sentence.
Statistics show that 1 in 3 people live next to a pedophile. However, I think that's a lie because I just live next to 2 stunning 8-year-olds.
Did you know that when pigeons have sex, they die?
Really?
Well, the one I fucked did.
I named my dog "5 miles" so when I walk him, I can say I walked 5 miles.
Random guy: I ran over 5 miles.
Never tell an orphan about a family matter; they wouldn't understand.
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite song?
- They see me rolling.
What is Hitler's favorite game?
Nahtzee.
What’s the similarity between a bag of chips and a gun?
When you pull one out in class, everybody wants to be your friend.
Yo' mama's cooking is so bad, your family prays after they eat.
Yo mama so fat, when she walked by the TV, I missed three episodes.
If a person shoots a person about to commit suicide, is it making it less painful, or is it murder?
30 people died in a car wreck before they got to Heaven. God asked for one wish because they died in a tragic way. The first lady, she was obsessed with her looks, so she asked to be beautiful and God granted her wish. The next person didn't know what to wish for, so they wished for the same thing. The guy in the very back was laughing, having a grand old time. Then God got to the person before the last. He said the same, he wished to be beautiful. When God got to the last person, he said, "I want them all to be ugly again."
Why can't an orphan be gay?
Because they don't have anyone to call "daddy". (My bad if this offended anyone.)
Lol. It was just a prank, bro.
I tried to sue the airport for misplacing my luggage. -- I lost my case.
Nutted in her braces, now my kids are behind bars.
I couldn’t quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.
Friend: *hits head* Others: How many fingers am I holding up? Me to friend: How suicidal am I on a scale from one to ten? Friend: Ten Me: He's fine guys.