Worst Jokes Ever
When you accidentally turn in your suicide note instead of your essay to the teacher, but she still gives you an A.
How do bitches talk about body positivity when they have no body to even be positive about?
I like my girls how I like my wine, 12 years locked in the basement.
A pilot is having a talk with one of his passengers. The passenger asks, "Why did you become a pilot?" The pilot replies with, "To face my fears." The passenger then says, "You're afraid of heights?" "No, I'm afraid of dying alone."
Got into a fight last night. We both had blades. He cut me deep. I thought I was gone, but he forgot to keep the water running.
Weird thing was that we were in the fight of our lives in the restroom and that guy kinda looked like me.
What’s the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball?
A guy will actually search for a golf ball.
A prisoner was told how he'll be executed. Needless to say, he was shocked.
What's the cheapest kind of meat you can buy?
Deer balls. They're under a buck.
Why couldn't the Japanese man give a high five?
Because Logan Paul left him hanging.
Why do Native Americans hate snow?
Because it's white and settles on their land.
One day, little Billy came in, pulling up his pants. The teacher asks, "Where have you been, Billy?" He says, "On top of Beverly Hill." A few minutes later, little Willy came in. The teacher asked, "Where have you been?" He says, "On top of Beverly Hill." Ten minutes later, little Johnny came in. The teacher says again, "Where have you been?" He says, "On top of Beverly Hill." A few minutes later, a girl came in. The teacher says, "Who are you?" She says, "I'm Beverly Hill."
Helen Keller walked into a bar, and a chair, and a table, and a wall.
I hate two-faced people because I don't know which face to slap first.
Me and a person downtown.
Person: Hey, crazy Saturday night.
Me: I guess so.
Person: Why do people do crazy stuff like this?
Me: I don't know. I used to, but don't anymore.
Person: Why'd you stop?
Me: Unfortunately, I lived every time I'd try something.
A friend asked me, "Where are you going?"
I answered, "6 feet underground."
My aunt's star sign was Cancer, pretty ironic how she died.
She was eaten by a giant crab.
Why can't the orphan play the game of life? They don't know what a family road trip is. 😆
Why were the Middle Ages called the Dark Ages?
Because there were too many knights.
What is the difference between a feminist and a female prostitute? If you want a female prostitute to be a bitch, you have to give her money first.
What's the difference between a school and an ISIS military base? Don't ask me, I only fly the drone.