Worst Jokes Ever
What did the mentally retarded kid get on his test?
Drool.
Pedophiles don't win races because they like to come in a little behind.
What do you call a nut on a wheelchair?....A busted nut.
What do you call a feminine cow?
A dairy queen.
You want to hear some marriage jokes?
Don't worry, it's just a couple.
Jack and Jill went up a hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high, pulled down his fly, and said, "Jill do you wanna?" Jill said yes, pulled up her dress, and then they had some fun. But stupid Jill forgot the pill so now they have a son.
A girl and her brother are walking in their garden. POV: Brother. Sister: "Why are you cutting those flowers?"
Brother: "Because they're beautiful!"
Sister: "I thought you said you cut yourself because you aren't."
Brother:......
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?
Hot wheels.
Why can't orphans be gay?
They have no one to call "daddy."
Why do I only date orphans?
Because they never have daddy issues.
A woman comes to the doctor and tells her, "Doctor, my husband wants intense sex all day, what should I give him?" The doctor says, "My number."
What do you call a dog with no legs?
My asian neighbors dinner.
Incest. A game the whole family can play.
A pun walked into a room and killed ten people.
Pun in, ten dead.
Why did God invent yeast infections? So women would know what it's like to live with an irritating cunt too.
New study reveals that women slightly overweight live longer... than the men who mention it.
I told my friend ten puns to see what one made him laugh. No pun in ten did.
Jack and Molly are sitting in school one day. Molly is asleep when the teacher asks her a question, “Molly, who created Heaven and Earth?”
Jack sees Molly is sleeping and quickly pokes her with a sharp pencil.
“Jesus Christ almighty!” shouts Molly.
“Correct,” says the teacher.
The next day the teacher asks, “Molly, who created Heaven and Earth?”
Molly is again asleep and is poked by Jack’s pencil.
“Jesus Christ almighty!” she shouts.
“Correct again,” says the teacher.
The next day, for a 3rd time, Molly is asleep.
This time the teacher asks her, “What did Eve say to Adam when she had so many children?”
Jack pokes Molly with the pencil again, and this time Molly screams “If you stick that thing in me one more time I’m going to crack it in half!”
Why don’t oranges 🍊 go around blind?
Because they take Vitamin See!
Did you hear about the fire in the shoe factory?
Many soles were lost.