Worst Jokes Ever
What's the difference between apples and orphans? Apples actually get picked.
I made a website for orphans, but sadly it didn't have a home page.
My ex-wife still misses me...
BUT HER AIM IS GETTING BETTER!
How do emos propose?
"Would you like to join my family tree?"
Girlfriend: Am I pretty or ugly?
Boyfriend: You're both!
Girlfriend: What do you mean by that?
Boyfriend: You're pretty ugly!!!
As a 13 year old, online dating is a tough thing.
Every time I meet someone new, they end up in jail.
it was just a prank bro.
Chuck Norris sleeps with the light on, not because he is afraid of the darkness, but because the darkness is afraid of him.
What do you say after committing incest?
No Chromo!
You wanna know what I want for Christmas? My dad to come back with the milk he said he was gonna get.
Son: Dad, why did you name my sister Paris?
Dad: Because she was made there.
Son: Thanks, Dad.
Dad: You're welcome, Backseat.
A doctor is telling three women what they are addicted to.
He says to the first one, "You are addicted to money, you named your daughter Penny."
He says to the second one, "You are addicted to food, you named your daughter Candy."
Then the third one whispers to her son, "Come on, Dick, let's go."
What is black and sits at the top of the stairs? -- Steven Hawking after a house fire.
Father and mother are making love in the bedroom. Mother is on top of father. Suddenly, the son enters the bedroom. Everyone is embarrassed, of course.
The next morning, the mother takes the little boy aside and says, "I'll tell you about what you saw yesterday. You know, Dad has a big belly, and that's why Mom sometimes sits on top of that belly to push it flat." The little boy says, "But Mama, that does not make any difference." "Oh no?" the mom asks. "No," says the little boy, "When you go to work, the neighbor comes, and she puts herself on her knees for Dad, and she blows his belly up again!"
God creating spiders.
God: "Make it have 8 legs." Angel: "Ok? Bit excessive but ok." God: "And 8 eyes." Angel: "You need to calm down and li-" God: "Give it a butt rope!"
A priest asks the convicted murderer at the electric chair, "Any last requests?" "Yes," replied the murderer, "Will you please hold my hand?"
Chuck Norris has been to Mars... that's why there are no signs of life there.
What do you call a white man surrounded by black men? Coach.
If I make a summer camp for kids with concentration problems, will it be a "Concentration Camp"?
Claustrophobic people are more productive thinking out of the box.
Rape jokes are like your dad's dick. You don't want it but you still get it anyway.