Worst Jokes Ever
Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?
The cabinet had sleeping pills.
The teacher told me to put my MP3 away, so I brought out my MP5. Now that bitch knows what not to tell me.
What's a lesbian's favorite type of food?
Finger-food.
What is the difference between a Rubik’s cube and a penis? I don’t know, but they both get harder the more you play with them.
How many emos does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None they just sit in the dark and cry.
Sign on my attorney's office wall: "You can't have manslaughter without laughter."
Why did Paul Walker cross the street?
Because he wasn't wearing his seatbelt.
A pedophile lures a group of Houston Girl Scouts with "Hey girls, would you like some candy?" They all agree and follow him to his neighborhood. There he offers them some more candy and they follow him to his house. Once again he offers them candy to go in to his house. In the lounge he offers them candy to go to his room. As he leads them up the stairs one of them pipes up and says "God, I hope we get laid before we get diabetes."
What do you call a gay drive by?
A fruit roll up.
1. What's the difference between Dark humor and Morbid humor? Dark humor is 10 babies in 1 trash can and Morbid humor is 1 baby in 10 trash cans.
2. What's the difference between a pizza and a baby? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven.
I don't understand why in horror movies they make digging a grave look so easy. It usually takes me days.
My sister and I were both adopted from the same country, and my parents say they got us on a "two for one special."
Where did Sally go when the bomb exploded?
Everywhere.
I got a new pair of gloves today, but they're both 'lefts,' which, on one hand, is great, but on the other, it's just not right.
What do you get when you have an annoying kid, a homicidal kid, and a suicidal kid in the same room? A happy ending.
The secret to dark humor is the delivery... oh wait, the baby was stillborn.
I fell from the stairs the other day. It really "got me down."
What’s wrong with a gay bbq?
All the hotdogs taste like shit.
Why do prostitutes love servicing zombies? They always leave a tip.
Say what you want against pedophiles, but they slow down in school zones.