Worst Jokes Ever
Why did Logan Paul go to the suicide forest?
To see who's hanging around.
I like my Oreos how I like my victims... Drowning.
My dad and I went to the hospital once, and he said he'd be fine and it'd only take a few minutes.
Lying bastard never came out.
I'll always remember my dad's last words... "Why do you have an axe? We live in the city!"
What's the hardest part about being a pedophile?
Fitting in.
The happier they get, the less they see.
My girlfriend keeps calling me a pedophile. That's a big word for a seven year old.
Why are feminists jealous of men?
Because men don't have to stand up to piss.
Why are feminists always against men?
Because men can piss with something that they can't: piss with dicks.
Well, I'm off to the orphanage to tell "yo mama" jokes.
What's the difference between my dad and a hooker?
Hookers come back.
A nun, badly needing to use the restroom, walked into a local Hooters. The place was hopping with music and loud conversation and every once in a while "the lights would turn off."
Each time the lights would go out, the place would erupt into cheers.
However, when the revelers saw the nun, the room went dead silent.
She walked up to the bartender and asked, "May I please use the restroom?"
The bartender replied, "OK, but I should warn you that there is a statue of a naked man in there wearing only a fig leaf."
"Well, in that case, I'll just look the other way," said the nun.
So the bartender showed the nun to the back of the restaurant.
After a few minutes, she came back out, and the whole place stopped just long enough to give the nun a loud round of applause!
She went to the bartender and said, "Sir, I don't understand. Why did they applaud for me just because I went to the restroom?"
"Well, now they know you're one of us," said the bartender, "Would you like a drink?"
"No thank you, but, I still don't understand," said the puzzled nun.
"You see," laughed the bartender, "every time someone lifts the fig leaf on that statue, the lights go out."
Now, how about that drink?
I was in cooking class and my teacher said, "Does anyone know what a chopping board is similar to?"
Me and my friend just glanced at each other and burst out laughing.
Long story short, the teacher understood the joke, and now we are both in daily therapy. 😭💀
Chuck Norris can gargle peanut butter.
When you send her a dick pic, but then she sends you one right back...
How does E.T. have an advantage over orphans? E.T. can actually phone home.
Father: "Son, you were adopted."
Son: "What?! I knew it! I want to meet my biological parents!"
Father: "We are your biological parents. Now pack up, the new ones will pick you up in 20 minutes."
Depression is like therapy; the more you see it, the more you get used to it.
I wish I could be as visible as my depression is.
Me: Knock knock.
Friend: Who's there?
Me: I don't know anymore.