Worst Jokes Ever
Stephen Hawking walked into a bar. Just kidding :(
Kid: Are you gay?
Me: No, I'm straighter than the pole your mom dances on.
Why doesn't my egg want to crack?
Because I hate my egg-sistence.
Some kids at school made fun of me for playing Halo. I gave them a halo.
What does Bill say to Hillary after sex? -- "Honey, I'll be home in 20 minutes."
What do you call a gay dinosaur? Megasoreass.
Poor Stephen Hawking couldn't pass the "I'm not a robot" test.
The guy who made the knock knock joke deserves a no-bell prize.
The word "ginger" is just the n-word reorganized.
When a family friend passed away, my granddaughter took her three-year-old son to visit the widow. As they approached the front door, she whispered to the boy, “Make sure to tell her how sorry you are.”
He whispered back, “Why? I didn’t kill him.”
What was the pedophile charged with when he was arrested? A minor offense.
What do you call a high school student?
Alone and depressed.
Why do vegetarians give good head?
Because they’re used to eating nuts.
Why can't you fool an aborted fetus? Because it wasn't born yesterday.
What do you get when a cow is caught in an earthquake?
You get a milkshake!
If a midget with down syndrome shows up late for work, is it okay to say she's a little tardy?
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
Sonic can run around the world in a second.
In that same time, Chuck Norris can run around the Universe.
What's worse than finding 10 babies in 10 dumpsters?
Finding 1 baby in 10 dumpsters.
What’s the difference between an apple and a depressed kid? The apple falls from the tree.