Worst Jokes Ever
Why did the chicken commit suicide?
To get to the other side.
How did Rihanna know that Chris Brown was cheating on her? There was a different color of lipstick on his knuckles.
Boy goes to Confession.
Boy: "What are you doing, father?"
Priest: "It's called masturbation and soon you will be doing it."
Boy: "Why do you say that, father?"
Priest: "'Cause my hand is getting tired."
Murder is the same as suicide, except the other person is doing it for you.
Why has Stephen Hawking stopped playing hide and seek with his wife? Because she keeps using a metal detector.
What do you call a dog with no legs? -- Doesn't matter what you call him, he's not coming.
I thought of having a threesome, but then I realized that if I wanted to disappoint two people at one time I might as well have dinner with my parents.
Don't be racist! BE LIKE MARIO!
He's an Italian plumber, created by the Japanese, who speaks English, and looks like a Mexican, jumps like a black man, and grabs coins like a Jew.
Losing weight is a piece of cake. Just don't pick it up.
Yo mama is so fat, it took Nationwide 15 years to get on her side.
What did one lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire?
Same time next month?
If depression is going to be my girlfriend, will she leave me?
What do you say to a one-legged hitchhiker?
Hop in.
Why couldn’t most people remember 9/11?
Because it flew over their heads.
Two artists had an art contest. It ended in a draw.
I can't stand being in a wheelchair.
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite type of comedy? Stand up.
How do you stop a heterosexual woman from sucking your dick? piss inside her mouth
Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
What's a depressed person's least favorite type of cereal?
LIFE.