Worst Jokes Ever
What is the Harry Potter spell that aborts babies?
Fetus Deletus!
Stop with the blind jokes... I don't see the point.
Which sex position produces the ugliest children?
Go ask your mother.
How does the man on the moon cut his hair?
Eclipses it!
Teacher: What does a pig give you?
Little Johnny: Bacon.
Teacher: Good, what does the sheep give you?
Little Johnny: Wool.
Teacher: What does the fat cow give you?
Little Johnny: Homework and says "leave motherf*cker".
Pedophiles are fucking immature assholes.
Someone butt-dialed me again yesterday. It seems that only assholes want to speak to me.
My friend was a victim of a school shooting once, but he couldn't tell if they were in the library because of the suppressor on his AR.
Why do they have air conditioning in hospitals?
To keep all the vegetables fresh.
A man tried to shoot Adolf Hitler, but missed. Then Adolf replied, "Oh shoot, I did nazi that coming!"
What's the difference between a school bus and my Dad's van?
School buses usually don't have screaming and crying children.
What do you call someone with a pindie spot?
Stop screen recording.
Two antennas got married on a roof. The ceremony was horrible, but the reception was great!
What is the difference between R Kelly and Kelly Clarkson?
R Kelly hits on preteens, Kelly Clarkson hits on toddlers.
Chuck Norris can make 5 minute frosting in 4 minutes.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was emotionally distressed after a break up and wanted to find some help at his friend's pen. In the end, he was run over by a car, marking a sad end to what might have been a good chicken's life.
Do you wanna hear the gossip about butter?
Actually, I shouldn't spread it.
What did the football coach say when he went to the bank?
-"I want my quarterback."
What did Jenny get for her birthday after a car accident?
An amputation.
How does NASA organize a party? -- They planet.