Worst Jokes Ever

Why are orphans so bad at baseball?

They can never make it home.

What is the hardest part about being a pedophile? Fitting in.

I put the sexy in dyslexia.

How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, they just arrest the lightbulb for being broke and beat the room for being black.

So, a daughter asks her father, "Dad, what is your opinion on abortions?" Her father says, "Why don't you ask your sister?" The daughter responds, "But I don't have a sister... Oh."

If there was someone selling drugs around here, we'd know.

According to a recent survey, replacing words with the names of musical instruments in a sentence often goes undetected.

How is spinach like anal sex?

If you were forced to have it as a child, you probably won't like it as an adult.

Two atoms are walking down the street, and they run into each other. One says to the other, "Are you all right?" "No, I lost an electron!" "Are you sure?" "Yeah, I’m positive!"

If Chuck Norris was a Spartan in the movie 300, the movie would be called 1.

You know, it's only considered murder if there's a body. Otherwise, it's just a missing person.

Sign on my attorney's office wall: "You can't have manslaughter without laughter."

I still remember the last words my grandpa said before he kicked the bucket. He said, “Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?”

Don't let an extra chromosome get you down.

Did you hear about the fortune telling dwarf that escaped from prison?

Reports say there's a small medium at large!

Yo mama so poor, the ducks throw bread at her.

When the emo kid hangs himself and the autistic kid thinks that it's a piñata... BATTER UP TO THE PLATE!

So there I was, fucking my sister, and she shouts, "God, you fuck like Dad!" I then said, "Damn, that’s what Mom said."

What do you call someone who wants to commit suicide by jumping off a building?

A cliffhanger.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? -- Because the octopus was well armed.