Worst Jokes Ever
All then are bad.
My sister said download "Among Us" on my iPad, so I did. Then she taught me to play. Then she told me a code and told me where to put it, and I typed in the code.
Then she was the imposter, and I was a crewmate, so I was sticking with her, and she killed me when we made it to the medbay.
They call me Elsa cause I’m too icy! 🥶❄️
I dropped my phone, but it’s on airplane mode.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Covid.
Covid who?
The thing that killed half a billion people!
Kim Jong Il: Knock knock.
Political Prisoner: Who's there?
Kim Jong Il: Boo.
Political Prisoner: Boo who?
Kim Jong Il: Boo hoo? Don't cry just because I executed your wife and enslaved your children. You at least get to eat today, my friend.
Young man: "Very good money, and how about the name of the stupid young man again?"
Friend: "Dagobert Duck."
Young man: "Ah, I remember. He was the American useless."
Friend: "Ah, you mean Donald Trump?"
Young man: "Yes, just like that! I know exactly how the guy managed to become president. Hahaha!!!"
What do you call Liberal Scare Tactics?
A Conservative's Utopia.
Why are Americans such good marksmen?
Because they had plenty of schools to practice their shooting.
The next woman who says she'd rather be alone in the woods with a bear, I'm throwing her in a pit with a bear and making her fight it with a wooden sword while drinking and singing "The Bear and the Maiden Fair."
Depressed person: *chokes on food*
*involuntary coughs until they can breathe*
"AWWW! I failed the race!"
What has four legs and works at McDonald's?
The remaining members of Nirvana.
Why is the fat man roping himself to the side of a mountain?
So he doesn't roll back down!
If possible, I refrain from brunching celebrities. My path is smooth. The table receives the branching.
When I arrived at my friend's house and, after a long time, I was given permission to pick from the branches and graze the dog, I agreed. Then the work begins. "No, no money," I replied, "that's why I'm a burden to the world that hurts me."
And when I told them, they told me and said they were there. If I had a job, I would be fired on the first day for bad behavior. The best solution is to avoid this situation.
Happy April Fool's Day.
I am the fool, now fuck me.
Why are modern women trash?
Because back in the day, a woman knew her place.
My boat is super fast, so I named it Usain.
Usain Boat.
It used to be "My Body, My Choice" until Trump came to power. Now it's "Your Body, My Choice."
What is smaller than my dick?
Nothing.
What do Somalians excel at in the United States?
Welfare fraud.