Worst Jokes Ever

My dad died in 9/11. I'll always remember his last words:

Allah hu akbar.

Yo hairline is bigger than yo mama's booty.

7-Eleven

8-Eleven

9/11

How does a computer spell "Autocorrect"?

Can an orphan child be arrested for vandalism, or will the officers ask for their parents to talk to?

Why do orphans become hookers?

'Cause they can call someone "daddy."

What is the best part of being an orphan?

Every bag of chips is family sized.

Why do orphans like the movie Home Alone?

Because they're home alone themselves!

I want to fight! LET'S FIGHT!!!

What does an emo kid and pizza have in common?...... The pizza doesn’t cut itself.

Girls are like roller coasters; the faster you go, the louder they scream.

I asked my nan if she wouldn't mind shitting in a bucket when we went camping. She replied, "Why the fuck would I want to sit in a bucket?" So eventually she did, and I took the best shit I have ever had!

You are so fat Bob the Builder said, "I can't fix it!" LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Yo mama is so fat that when I was printing a picture of her last year, it's still printing.

What do you call a disabled person drowning?

A boat.

Why does the military pick orphans as fighter pilots?

Because homing missiles don't work on them.

Thanks for the birthday wishes. It's been an odd one this year, as some of you know, my father suddenly passed away on my birthday last year, and anyone who knew the old man knew he had a sledgehammer wit!

Good on ya dad, ya definitely got the last laugh!

F*ck in' the poo.

Why did my dad bring a bomb vest to fit in with his Taliban brothers?

Instead of Obama, it was supposed to be Osama. Pretending I got their names mixed up.