Worst Jokes Ever
Best friend makes joke about 9/11.
Me: My pop was a part of that!
Best friend: So sorry!
Me: My pop was the pilot of the plane, he flew through 89 floors.
When an orphan finds out who their parents are, and then finds out they're dead.
So, I went up to an emo and I said, "Why did you steal my bar code from my chips?"
Yo mama so ugly that when she went to an ugly contest, they said she wasn’t allowed because no professionals were allowed.
Why don't orphans have Life360?
Because parents won't track them.
What is the main group of teens in West Side Story?
New York Jets.
What don't Rick Astley and the Twin Towers have in common?
One won't let you down, while the other will.
Q: Why can orphans never be criminals?
A: Because they're never wanted.
Why can't an orphan be gay?
They have no one to call daddy.
What do my wife and dinner have in common? They are both vegetables.
Yo forehead is so big, Albert Einstein couldn’t figure out the measurement of it!
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Special forces.
I made a website for orphans.
It does not have a home page.
Why does Batman only wear black?
Because he's emo!
I was at my lecture at Oxford. Professor Albert Pessistein was leading the lecture, teaching us new equations. I asked where I can find a drink, due to my dying of thirst. He said, “big games my friend.”
He then proceeded to teach us, “The greater the Big games, the higher the Bottling!”
As ruler of a kingdom, I wanted a knight. Duke Leo Pessi IV offered himself but wanted a wife in return. I offered my beautiful daughter to him. However, he slapped her and proceeded to wreck my castle. All this whilst crying “I don’t want princess, I want farmer!”
DAMN YOU PESSI!
I was in my first space mission for NASA. As we were orbiting the asteroid belt, I saw a figure. I couldn’t tell who it was, but he spoke Spanish with an Argentinian accent. He said, “I’m looking for my freekicks and penalties, can you help me find them?” We then decided to aid him.
My willy was feeling itchy, so I decided to go to the doctor.
My doctor was foreign and spoke Spanish with an Argentinian accent. As I returned home, I noticed my willy was gone! Pessi stole my PENis thinking it was a Penalty just so he could statpad. SHAME ON YOU!
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite food? Beef stroganoff.
What's the bad version of "Fuck Nirvana, rape me?"