Worst Jokes Ever
Your hairline is lookin' so crusty like KFC chicken and be so discombobulated that it looks like satellite signals. It gives me flippin' sun radiation.
What types of erections do skeletons have? Boners.
Why can’t orphans be gay?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."
Yo mama so fat they faked COVID-19 just to put a mask on her.
Morbius was awesome, and the Batman sucked.
About a dog.
What is the difference between onions and babies?
I cry when I cut onions.
When younger girls say, "I want my period, or it will not be bad."
*eating chocolate in bed crying* My face at them when they say that. 🤣🙄😵
Them: "I got my period." *them hurting*. Me: "Told ya."
I really wasn't planning on going for a run today, but damn, those cops came out of nowhere!
What do an orphan and a homeless person have in common?
They have no one to call "Dad."
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.
Jack got high, touched Jill's thigh, and said, "I know you wanna."
But silly Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a kid.
How do you get a discount off groceries?
Scan the emo kid's wrists.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
Disabled.
What’s the difference between a dad and a boulder?
About 15 stone.
He sings, he dances, be he also HE HE.
Kobe couldn’t clutch up with the rift to go.
Why do orphans go to public schools?
Who's going to homeschool them?
What do the Twin Towers and school have in common?
People jumped off a building to escape it.
A Catholic Priest and a Rabbi were chatting one day when the conversation turned to a discussion of job descriptions and promotion.
"What do you have to look forward to in way of a promotion in your job?" asked the Rabbi.
"Well, I'm next in line for the Monsignor's job," replied the Priest.
"Yes, and then what?" asked the Rabbi.
"Well, next I can become Bishop," said the Priest.
"Yes, and then?" asked the Rabbi.
"If I work real hard and do a good job as Bishop, it's possible for me to become an Archbishop," said the Priest.
"O.K., then what?" asked the Rabbi.
The Priest, beginning to get a bit exasperated, replied, "With some luck and real hard work, maybe I can become a Cardinal."
"And then?" asked the Rabbi.
The Priest is really starting to get mad now and replies, "With lots and lots of luck and some real difficult work and if I'm in the right places at the right times and play my political games just right, maybe, just maybe, I can get elected Pope."
"Yes, and then what?" asked the Rabbi.
"Good grief!" shouted the Priest. "What do you expect me to become, GOD?"
"Well," said the Rabbi, "One of our boys made it!"
"You must be why they invented the word ugly."