Worst Jokes Ever
My sister is the weird dark one and emo of the family. I'm the bright happy one. Once in 3rd grade, I got a huge A on mine, and my sis got a D-.
In the playground near a tree, we were sitting and playing. I said, "Hey, a C- is not that bad," and raised my hand up to give her a high five, but she left me hanging.
A Christian, a Jew, and a Catholic walk into a bar. The Christian says, “Where’s Mohammed?”
What types of erections do skeletons have? Boners.
Why can’t orphans be gay?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."
What would a heterosexual woman that is a whore do for $500.00 that a gay man would be willing to do for free for a heterosexual man at a glory hole?
Suck his big cock.
Yo mama so fat they faked COVID-19 just to put a mask on her.
You know why women wear tampons?
So the crabs could bungee jump!
A Catholic Priest and a Rabbi were chatting one day when the conversation turned to a discussion of job descriptions and promotion.
"What do you have to look forward to in way of a promotion in your job?" asked the Rabbi.
"Well, I'm next in line for the Monsignor's job," replied the Priest.
"Yes, and then what?" asked the Rabbi.
"Well, next I can become Bishop," said the Priest.
"Yes, and then?" asked the Rabbi.
"If I work real hard and do a good job as Bishop, it's possible for me to become an Archbishop," said the Priest.
"O.K., then what?" asked the Rabbi.
The Priest, beginning to get a bit exasperated, replied, "With some luck and real hard work, maybe I can become a Cardinal."
"And then?" asked the Rabbi.
The Priest is really starting to get mad now and replies, "With lots and lots of luck and some real difficult work and if I'm in the right places at the right times and play my political games just right, maybe, just maybe, I can get elected Pope."
"Yes, and then what?" asked the Rabbi.
"Good grief!" shouted the Priest. "What do you expect me to become, GOD?"
"Well," said the Rabbi, "One of our boys made it!"
Why do orphans go to public schools?
Who's going to homeschool them?
Kobe couldn’t clutch up with the rift to go.
Your hairline is lookin' so crusty like KFC chicken and be so discombobulated that it looks like satellite signals. It gives me flippin' sun radiation.
Morbius was awesome, and the Batman sucked.
I really wasn't planning on going for a run today, but damn, those cops came out of nowhere!
What do Nelson Mandela and Paul Walker have in common?
They both died at 95.
What are American schools?
Shooting ranges.
It’s so sad because Stephen Hawking can’t even stand up for himself after all these mean jokes.
Why do orphans love table tennis? Because that is the only love they're getting.
When younger girls say, "I want my period, or it will not be bad."
*eating chocolate in bed crying* My face at them when they say that. 🤣🙄😵
Them: "I got my period." *them hurting*. Me: "Told ya."
Mom: Son, get up for school.
Son: I AM UP *holds up books and says I'm up* IM UP MOM!
Q: Why is the graveyard so noisy? A: Because all the coffin.
If you don't get it, it means because of people coughing.