Worst Jokes Ever
Why are orphans bad at poker?
Because they don't know what a full house is!
What’s the difference between a bitch and a whore?
A whore sleeps with everyone at the party. A bitch sleeps with everyone at the party—except you.
Why can’t orphans go on school trips?
They need a parent signature.
My wife told me to stop being an idiot.
I told her, "Which one do you want?"
A Sunday school teacher asked her children on the way to service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" One little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping."
How many gay guys does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Just one... But it takes the entire emergency room to take it out.
Why do trans women make the best golf course grounds staff?
They’re enthusiastic about getting rid of unwanted balls.
Congrats to George Floyd on 2 years sobriety.
How do you stop a woman from choking?
Back up an inch.
How much semen can a gay man hold? A buttload.
Everyone has cracks in them, mine's just in my heart and not my ass.
The teacher asked the class what sound does a cow make? "Mooo," said Sally. "Good job," said the teacher. "What sound does a sheep make?" "Baa," said Jack. "Good, now what sound does a pig make?" Little Johnny raised his hand really high in the sky. The teacher called on him. He said, "The pig says, 'Get on the ground and put your hands on your head, you black motherfucker.'"
Is it normal my emo cousin's hobby is tying himself to train tracks?
What is it called when an orphan takes a family photo? A selfie.
Who is the fastest reader? 9/11, it went through 10 stories in 7 seconds.
What do you call a spaceman’s willy?
A Shuttlecock!
When Michael Jackson died, people melted him down into Lego pieces so that little kids could play with him instead.
Why did Hitler kill himself? He saw the gas bill.
What’s the difference between a Hispanic and a stoner?
A stoner has papers.
I’ll never forget my father’s last words...
Oh fuck, it’s a bus!