Worst Jokes Ever
If a heterosexual man wanted his dick sucked, what would a feminist say to him that a gay man would never say to him?
"Not now, I have a headache."
What do you call a fat, ugly, and hairy woman with a rape whistle? A feminist.
How do you get away with rape and incest in California?
Say you identify as a woman. Fact: It's actually legal to rape your daughter if you are a woman in California.
If you kill an orphan, would that count as a squad wipe?
So, a blind guy is sitting on a park bench with his seeing eye dog right beside him. Suddenly, his seeing eye dog cocks his leg and pisses all over the blind guy's leg. So the blind guy gives the dog a treat.
A man taking a walk saw the entire thing and said to the blind man, "That is the most charitable thing I’ve ever seen, your dog deliberately pissed on you and here you are giving him a dog biscuit." The blind man says, "Oh it’s not what you think, I’m just trying to find his head so I can kick him in the ass."
What is the most common crime in China?
Identity fraud.
How do you stop a baby from drowning?
-Lift up your foot.
What does the 'w' in Africa stand for? Water.
What is the difference between a feminist and a gorilla? One of them is fat and hairy, while the other one has a functional brain (the gorilla, of course).
What do you call a cute boy with Down syndrome?
Awwtistic.
I asked a Scottish friend of mine how many sexual partners he'd had. He started counting, but fell asleep.
What’s the difference between Nelson Mandela and Paul Walker?
They both died at 95.
Why is there only 363 days in an orphan calendar? Because they don't have Mother's Day or Father's Day.
How do you get Wacko Jacko to come inside your shop? Have little boys' pants half off!
Sometimes I wish my gf was here, that way we could have some fun in my bed. Then I realize she's right across the hall. (SWEET HOME ALABAMA)!!
My boss had the heart of a child.
In a jar. On his desk.
Yo hairline be lookin' like Elmo's toe fungus.
My girlfriend's a porn star.
She'd kill me if she found out.
What do you call someone who hates rape jokes? An ugly feminist that couldn't get a cock in her mouth.
My girlfriend told me the dishwasher was leaking, so I brought home some tampons.