Worst Jokes Ever
I hate it when disabled people get bullied...
... because they can't stand up for themselves.
What is a dry swimmer?
Not in the water...
You're so ugly that even Hello Kitty said goodbye.
What do you call two gay Irishmen?
Patrick Fitz Gerald, and Gerald Fitz Patrick.
Why did the drum take a nap? It was beat.
My wife said I have no sense of direction.
I said, "Where did that come from?"
Roses are red,
Violets are blue, I’d rather be single than with someone like you.
What do you call two female lovers spying on the government?
Lesbionage.
When the orphan got a job as a priest, what was his name?
Father Les.
They say that the tongue is the strongest muscle in the human body. Wanna fight? 👅💦
What do you call it when two transgender midgets have sex?
And microtransaction.
Theory is when you know everything but nothing works.
Practice is when everything works but no one knows why.
In our lab, theory and practice are combined: Nothing works and no one knows why.
My girlfriend just broke up with me for talking about video games too much. What a stupid thing to Fallout 4.
How do parents punish a blind kid? They rearrange the furniture.
Frank: "I am named Frank because my grandpa lived in Frankfurt during his best years."
Finley: "I am named Finley because my grandmother was in Finland during her early twenties!"
Mia: "Can we please change the subject?"
When my son was little, he loved to draw. Although he would always rip up the paper whenever there was one little slip up. Too bad he became a tattoo artist.....
They made a horror movie about the Chinese president.
It's called "Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey."
How does a cannibal start a wedding reception?
He toasts the groom.
What do you call a cleaning skeleton?
The Grim Sweeper.
I can explain Superman and Batman movies in one sentence.
Two orphans fighting in the rain.