Worst Jokes Ever
Violets are blue, roses are red.
Last night your mom was giving me head.
What’s the difference between a Hispanic and a stoner?
A stoner has papers.
Who is the fastest reader? 9/11, it went through 10 stories in 7 seconds.
Why did Joe Biden visit Hiroshima? Because the city has the hottest prepubescent girls in the world.
When Michael Jackson died, people melted him down into Lego pieces so that little kids could play with him instead.
I just thought of the best invention ever: a vape dildo.
What’s Mexico’s favorite sport?
Cross country.
What's an orphan's favorite Roblox game?
Adopt Me.
The world exploded, so now I need to visit Uranus.
What’s the difference between a gay rooster and a straight rooster?
A straight rooster says, "Cock-a-doodle-do!"
A gay rooster says, "Any cock will do!"
What do Spider-Man and suicidal people have in common?
They both hang.
What is a little zombie's favorite stuffed animal?
It's a deady bear.
What is the difference between Drake and Carrie Underwood?
Carrie Underwood kissed a 12-year-old boy on the lips.
An old man is sitting on a park bench, crying his eyes out. A jogger stops, feels bad for him, and asks, "Sir, what's wrong?"
The old man sobs, "I'm 85 years old. I have a 25-year-old wife at home who is a supermodel. She cooks me gourmet meals every day, she keeps the house spotless, and we spend every night in total, passionate bliss."
The jogger looks confused. "Wait... that sounds amazing! Why are you crying?"
The old man looks up, tears streaming down his face, and wails: "I can't remember where I live!"
What do Rihanna and a DJ have in common?
They know how to get a beat down.
Why was the two-piece swimsuit invented?
To separate the meat section from the dairy section.
You're so slow, the sped kid is your tutor.
How do you know that a woman is about to say something smart?
She starts the sentence with ‘a man once said.’
A patient walked into a psychiatrist's office last week wrapped in nothing but Saran Wrap. The psychiatrist said, "I can clearly see your nuts."
What's yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of children.