Worst Jokes Ever
I would tell a 9/11 joke, but it would just crash and burn.
"Most Deadly Sport"
Playing chicken with a train!
Do you guys know how to make a hoe in Minecraft?
You pick it up off the street.
What do you call an ex eating Taco Bell?
Explosion.
Dyslexic man walks into a bra.
Why are orphans so skinny?
They never eat anything that is family size.
A nucleus walked into a bar. He asked the bartender, “How much for a drink?” The bartender replied, “For you, NO CHARGE!”
What's an upside of being an orphan?
You'll never get grounded again.
What's the difference between a Corvette and a pile of dead babies?
I don't have a Corvette in my garage.
A teenage boy decides to go see a hooker for the first time and asks his experienced uncle for some tips.
"Uncle, what should I do about the hooker name? Should I ask her real name or should I come up with a name for her myself?"
"Kid, I've been fucking hookers for 20 years and I didn't even know they had names."
A physicist sees a young man about to jump off the Empire State Building.
He yells, "Don't do it! You have so much potential!"
If a stork brings white babies, and a blackbird black babies, what bird brings no babies?
A swallow.
I’m not saying my life’s a joke. I’m saying it’s the punchline no one asked for.
What's the difference between your mom and a laundromat washer?
The washer doesn't take loads for free.
Why do witches wear name tags?
So they know which witch is which!
Why do dolphins live in salt water?
Because pepper water would make them sneeze!
Fat people are like the Twin Towers. Once they go down, they don’t come back up.
I feel bad for the guy in 9/11 who ordered a salami pizza. Instead, he just got a plane.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan? Apples get picked. Orphans don't.
I bought a coffin on Black Friday. It was a killer deal.