Worst Jokes Ever
Why do trans women make the best golf course grounds staff?
They’re enthusiastic about getting rid of unwanted balls.
A Sunday school teacher asked her children on the way to service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" One little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping."
What should you do if the dishwasher breaks?
Kick her.
I recently learned that it's politically incorrect to talk about taking part in a school shooting.
Apparently the term "school photos" is more acceptable.
My wife told me to stop being an idiot.
I told her, "Which one do you want?"
How do you stop a woman from choking?
Back up an inch.
Why should you always give an emo a high five in the hallway? You can’t leave them hanging.
What do you call your Indian best friend who is the ABSOLUTE BEST at cunnilingus? A Curry Muncher.
When I called the suicide hotline in Afghanistan, they got all excited and asked if I could fly a plane.
I hate it when disabled people get bullied...
... because they can't stand up for themselves.
Everyone: So, wait, let me get this straight. Feminists want to cancel Father's Day because it is offensive to single mothers.
Feminists: Correct.
Everyone: Then what the f*** is the point of Mother's Day?
Everyone has cracks in them, mine's just in my heart and not my ass.
The teacher asked the class what sound does a cow make? "Mooo," said Sally. "Good job," said the teacher. "What sound does a sheep make?" "Baa," said Jack. "Good, now what sound does a pig make?" Little Johnny raised his hand really high in the sky. The teacher called on him. He said, "The pig says, 'Get on the ground and put your hands on your head, you black motherfucker.'"
Is it normal my emo cousin's hobby is tying himself to train tracks?
What is it called when an orphan takes a family photo? A selfie.
Why did Joe Biden visit Hiroshima? Because the city has the hottest prepubescent girls in the world.
I just thought of the best invention ever: a vape dildo.
Who is the fastest reader? 9/11, it went through 10 stories in 7 seconds.
When Michael Jackson died, people melted him down into Lego pieces so that little kids could play with him instead.
What’s the difference between a Hispanic and a stoner?
A stoner has papers.