Worst Jokes Ever
I’ve got a joke about Alzheimers.
Um.
Oh no. I can’t actually remember it.
What do you call a bus full of kids? A killstreak.
My name is what orphans can never have.
Inmate 1: Why are you in prison?
Inmate 2: I killed 4 people and robbed someone, what about you?
Inmate 1: I blew up a school bus.
Inmate 2: OMG, you demon! Were they autistic?
Inmate 1: No, they were Fortnite kids.
Inmate 2 (who is Muslim): Halelouia, we have found the messiah!
Roses are red, lilacs are purple, I have a turtle, his name is Squirtle.
I'm Canadian, and I admit we've done some stupid things. But we've never given nuclear launch codes to a literal retard.
Orphan: I fucked your mom.
Kid: At least mine survived from it.
Why is it that when women decide to kill an unborn baby, it's a "CHOICE," but when I decide to drive my F-150 into a playground full of kids, it's called "MURDER"!
I saw identical twins. I threw a paper plane at them.
My black friend told me to stop making racist jokes...
...I told him to lighten up.
Why did Princess Diana cross the road? - 'Cause she wasn't wearing a seatbelt.
My name is Joe Biden, and I forgot this message.
Why is the USA so bad at chess?
Because they already lost two towers.
Why did the United Nations stop the French government from using the guillotine in public?
Because the French government was using the guillotine on newborn babies for circumcision.
I'm not racist, but the Ku Klux Klan look all the same to me.
One day, the fat kid came up to me and asked me, "What's cracking?" The floorboards, you idiot. You're causing a 9.7 Richter scale earthquake and asking ME what's cracking. It would be best if you looked down for a second.
What's the difference between a trampoline and a baby? I take my shoes off when I jump on a trampoline.
The daughter of an incestuous pedophile goes into the living room where he is watching TV and asks him if she can borrow the car that evening.
"Sure honey! If you suck my dick!"
So she gets down on him but something is wrong. She pops her head up and says: "Dad! This tastes like shit!"
"Oh yeah, I forgot," says the father. "I already gave your brother the car for tonight."
What's the difference between herpes and my dad?
Herpes stays around.
"Just killed a woman, feeling good."
- Tommyinnit