Worst Jokes Ever
What do you do when you finish a magazine at school? Put another one in and continue!
Michael Jackson was on a boat with a bunch of children. The boat captain comes up to him and says, "Michael, we've come into some trouble and the boat is about to sink. We need to get off the boat right now." "But what about the children?" The captain said, "F*** them." Michael Jackson responded, "Is there enough time?"
Home Covid Test.
1: Open a can of beer and try to smell it.
2: If you can smell the beer, drink it to see if you can taste it.
3: If you can taste it and smell it, this confirms you don't have Covid.
Last night, I did the test 15 times and all were negative. Tonight I am going to do the test again because this morning I woke up with a headache and feeling like I am coming down with something.
I am so nervous.
My girlfriend told me women are better at multitasking than men. So I told her to sit down and shut up. Guess what...
She couldn't do either!
My dad told me he only drinks on days that start with a "T":
Tuesday, Thursday, today, tomorrow.
When you were supposed to help the depressed kid, but not "help" the depressed kid.
How is slavery different from Pokémon?
There are different types of Pokémon.
Why were the people in the Twin Towers such good readers?
They went through 110 stories in 10 seconds.
Osama Bin Laden is his name.
Crashing planes is his game.
On a scale of Johnny Depp having an erectile dysfunction to Michael Jackson exposing himself in a child day care center, how hard is it to get into Oxford?
"F" stand for family, that's why "orphan" is spelled with "ph."
Dark humor is like a kid with cancer.
It never gets old.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a bulb?
None, because they all cry in the dark.
Whenever your ex says, "You'll never find someone like me," the answer to that is, "That's the point."
A sign that broadcast television has less impact on the masses: The force-feeding of Kelly Clarkson on network television has yet to impact the large stacks of Kelly Clarkson CDs collecting dust in Goodwill, right next to those James Last LPs.
If dust mites are found in dust, bedbugs are found in beds, where are cockroaches found in?
Why did Hitler kill himself? He saw the gas bill.
When does a doctor get mad?
When he runs out of patients!
Why do we tell actors to break a leg?
So they can get in the cast!
what do you call a group of emos?... The Suicide Squad.