Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call it when a drunk cowgirl falls off her stool at the bar?
A hoedown.
When you were supposed to help the depressed kid, but not "help" the depressed kid.
Michael Jackson was on a boat with a bunch of children. The boat captain comes up to him and says, "Michael, we've come into some trouble and the boat is about to sink. We need to get off the boat right now." "But what about the children?" The captain said, "F*** them." Michael Jackson responded, "Is there enough time?"
Why does OSHA require women to wear panties?
Because every manhole needs a cover.
How is slavery different from Pokémon?
There are different types of Pokémon.
Why were the people in the Twin Towers such good readers?
They went through 110 stories in 10 seconds.
Osama Bin Laden is his name.
Crashing planes is his game.
On a scale of Johnny Depp having an erectile dysfunction to Michael Jackson exposing himself in a child day care center, how hard is it to get into Oxford?
"F" stand for family, that's why "orphan" is spelled with "ph."
Dark humor is like a kid with cancer.
It never gets old.
Whenever your ex says, "You'll never find someone like me," the answer to that is, "That's the point."
A sign that broadcast television has less impact on the masses: The force-feeding of Kelly Clarkson on network television has yet to impact the large stacks of Kelly Clarkson CDs collecting dust in Goodwill, right next to those James Last LPs.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a bulb?
None, because they all cry in the dark.
What is an orphan's family reunion called?
Me time.
If dust mites are found in dust, bedbugs are found in beds, where are cockroaches found in?
Why did Hitler kill himself? He saw the gas bill.
Did you hear about the new P. Diddy meal in McDonald's? It's a 56-year-old meat inside a 12-year-old bun.
What happens if a cookie turns emo?
It becomes a cookie cutter.
My girlfriend died in Tokyo during a tsunami. I was sad, but my friend told me, "Don't worry, there are plenty more in the ocean."
All aboard the Magic School Bus! We are going to New York. The second tower has been hit.