Worst Jokes Ever
Two men are walking down the street and see a dog licking its balls. One man says, "I wish I could do that." The other one says, "You can probably just pet him."
Do you know why most men are impressive cooks?
Because with two eggs and a sausage, they can keep women full for 9 months.
What does a one-night stand have in common with earthquakes? You never know how long they'll last.
How do you flatten curves?
With an abortion.
What’s a 9/11 victim’s least favorite song?
Drowning Pool - Bodies.
What happens if a cookie turns emo?
It becomes a cookie cutter.
My mom thinks I need to stop objectifying women. I think she is overreacting.
She asked why I broke up with the last girl, and I said,
"It didn't work out."
She told me to be more specific, so I said,
"I just told you, she didn't exercise."
In honor of Diddy:
The ice cream machine at McDonald's now works!
Why does OSHA require women to wear panties?
Because every manhole needs a cover.
How do you make a sad person jump?
A bridge.
Why do Emos love Christmas? So they can pretend they're ornaments and hang themselves on trees. Hope you liked it, happy holidays!
What game do zombies like to play?
Corpse and Robbers.
Your teeth are so spread out my mom can drive her car through the gap in your teeth.
What do cannibals call newborn babies?
Fresh fruit.
Welcome to Morgan's Morgue and Pizzeria where yesterday's loss is today's sauce!
What is a cannibal's favorite place to eat?
Five Guys.
Why is September 11th the best birthday ever? No one forgets it :)
Yo mama so fat, she don't need the internet because she is already worldwide.
I saw this advert in a window that said: “Television for sale, £1, volume stuck on full.” I thought, “I can’t turn that down.”
what do you call a group of emos?... The Suicide Squad.