Billy: "I'm so used to having you in bed with me, I don't know if I'm ready for this long-distance relationship."
Sally: "Ohh, don't worry brother, I'll just be right down the hall..."
Worst Jokes Ever
Imagine failing to commit suicide; you might as well go kill yourself.
I saw a man trying to rape a girl. I decided to help. She didn't stand a chance against both of us.
Dark humor is like a home; not everyone gets it.
Why can't Indians play football? Because every time they take a corner, they make a shop.
Quiet kid: "I'm home!"
Parents: "What did you learn at school today?"
Quiet kid: "I've learned that I've had enough!"
A woman marries a man and has 7 children. The husband dies, and she marries another man. She has another 7 children, and later the husband dies. A year later she gets married again, and has another 7 children. She dies after a few months.
At the funeral, a man sees the priest looking at the heavens. He walks over and hears the man say, "They're finally together again." The man looks at the priest and says, "With her husband?" The priest looks at the man and says, "No, her legs."
I'm trying to come up with a set-up for an amputee joke, but I'm stumped.
The lice in your head are starting to concern over deforestation.
So Steven Hawking walks into a bar...
Oh, wait.
What kind of star would go to jail?
A shooting star!
What do you call an emo kid's suicide live stream?
America's funniest home videos.
Friend: Want to play Fall Guys?
Friend 2: Yup.
Friend: Ok, so let me ju- wait, where are you going?
Friend 2: I'm gonna jump off.
Friend: Why?
Friend 2: We are playing Fall Guys, right?
Want to know how you make any salad into a caesar salad? Stab it twenty-three times.
What’s the difference between emos and Hitler?
Hitler didn’t post on social media when he wanted to kill himself.
This is not even a joke, it's a serious question... Is eating ass considered cannibalism?
I can find the end of time before I find your hairline.
Why is it that when I'm in school doing PE, it's fine for someone to say "boys against girls", but the moment I say "blacks against whites" I'm the bad guy?
In 2016, Americans took "Orange is the New Black" to a whole other level.
The depressed kid wanted a high-five from the tree, but it left him hangin'.