Worst Jokes Ever
I asked my doctor if it was normal for one of my nuts to be bigger than the other two.
A hot girl wants to commit suicide and jump from a bridge when an ugly, smelly, homeless weirdo walks up to her. And he says, "Hey you hot babe, let's fuck." She just answers, "Get the fuck away you ugly bastard." The guy just laughs and says, "Alright, I'll wait down there."
Maybe if I fall in love with my depression, it'll leave me too.
Suicide is the way to get even with the bitch called probability.
My pregnant wife said we were gonna name the kid Digiorno. She wouldn't tell me why until she got an abortion and told me, "It's not delivery, it's Digiorno."
So skinny you have to run around in the shower to get wet.
Why are Asian's eyes always squinted?
Nukes are bright.
What is the difference between anal sex and a microwave? A microwave doesn't brown your meat.
Why did Hitler stop playing Golf?
He kept getting stuck in the Bunker.
Why go across the street when you can just go down the hall, lol?
Two teenagers were raping an 11-year-old girl in an alley, so I stepped in to help. The little bitch didn’t stand a chance against the three of us.
Roses are red. Violets are blue. A face like yours belongs in a zoo. Don't worry, I'll be there too. Not in the cage, but laughing at YOU!
What's a school shooter's favorite flower?
Columbine.
Stop making 9/11 jokes. They don't land so well.
Grew up playing Fruit Ninja on my iPad. Spent time with my online sister playing multiplayer.
Now I play it in school with an awesome small steel blade.
I’m not allowed my phone during school hours and I have to give it in at the start of the day...
In my free time, I like to help blind people.
Verb, not adjective.
What time do butts get up? At the crack of dawn!!!
What's an orphan's high school nickname? "Lone Stone."
Why does Michael Jackson have such a hard time playing chess?
He can't choose between black or white.
An orphan is like marriage. The kid is always the reason for divorce. The kid is always the reason for his parents leaving him.