Worst Jokes Ever
Trying to make jokes in 2020-2021 be like:
Comedian: "When she went in front of the TV, it took an hour till you could see the screen again."
Audience: "Why you gotta be so offensive?"
Comedian: "I'm not tr-"
Audience: "Oh, so now you're trying to debate?"
Comedian: "I-"
Audience: "Now you're acting racist?!"
So, one day I was walking home from school with my best friend, Sally. She was worried to get home because she was going to tell her mom that Bob, the class rep, got her pregnant eight months ago, and now it was obvious she was pregnant. So I said, “Sally, it’ll be okay, I’m sure she’ll be happy to get a grandson.” “Yeah, thanks, Suzy,” she said to me, then went into her house.
The next few weeks she didn’t show up to school, so I was like, oh, she must be in trouble with her mom. I’ll go check on her.
So I walk up to her house and her mom answers with a baby boy in her hands. “Oh, hello. Is that Sally’s son?!! Can I see Sally?” Her mom says sure, and I go inside, but she leads me to the backyard and I see a tombstone. “Here lies Sally 2004-2020.” So I ask her mom in tears, “Oh, did she not make it through the birth?” And her mom replied, “You could say that...”
What do you call a cow without legs? Ground beef.
I donated a computer to the orphanage...
It didn’t have a motherboard.
The last words of a depressive person are: "Yay, Freedom."
Life lesson guys:
Remember, being healthy is basically dying as slowly as possible.
Girl: Hey.
Orphan: Hi.
Girl: Wanna be friends?
Orphan: Sure.
Girl: Ok, and go ask your parents if we can have a sleep over.
What do you call it when you rickroll someone in the LGBTQ?
You just got fruit-rolled.
Officer, I drop-kicked that child in self-defense!
You gotta believe me!
What do you call a woman who aborted her quadruplets? A graveyard.
Why can't orphans play GTA? Because they're not wanted.
Don’t challenge Death to a pillow fight. Unless you’re prepared for the reaper cushions.
Me: "Oh man, things are really happening for me! I have so much to do!"
Depression: "Lie in bed."
For this orphan, his dad didn't only go and get the milk. His mom did too.
Roses are red, violets are blue, my mom and dad died, next you'll be gone too.
Life is like a penis. Other people make it hard.
What were Michael Jackson's last words? "Take me to the children's hospital."
Why do orphans use water with their cereal? Because their dad never came back with the milk.
Why can’t orphans be criminals?
Because they’re unwanted.🤣😢
Doctor: Do you want the good news or the bad news first?
Patient: Good news!
Doctor: We are naming a disease after you.