Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call an orphan's family reunion? "Me time."
Without women, sex would be a pain in the ass.
My girlfriend's dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one.
It just made her more upset. She screamed at me, "What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?"
You wanna hear a suicide joke? Nvm, it didn't make it.
How do you throw a surprise party at a hospital? Bring a strobe light into the epilepsy ward.
The other day my friend messaged me saying, "bro I have two pieces of bad news for you." I told him to combine them. He replied with, "your girlfriend is cheating on both of us."
What did the wind say to the palm tree? "Hold onto your nuts, this is no ordinary blow job."
Ya ever think about the twin towers plan?
Me neither. It all came crashing down.
"What does the word 'gay' mean?" asked a son of his father.
"It means 'happy'," replied the father.
"Oh," contested the son, "so you are gay then?"
"No, son, I have a wife."
How do you help a suicidal person cheer up?
You tell them it's a leap of faith.
What story does an orphan always get kicked out of? Home Depot.
Why were the Twin Towers scared at dinner?
Because their mom said, "Here comes the airplane!"
What do pedophiles and a SpongeBob intro have in common?
Are you ready kids?
Chuck Norris was shot with a gun. The bullet was critically injured.
How do you know when an orphan is lying?
When they say, "I swear on my mother's life."
What are the similarities between an orphan and a newborn plant?
Both their parents were separated.
What is the one thing cripples can't do? ... Stand-up comedy.
Why can't orphans be gay?
They have no one to call "Daddy."
The orphan was playing baseball. He hit a home run. His coach told him to run home. He couldn't find it.
Why can't orphans work at S.C. Johnson?
Cause it's a family company.