Worst Jokes Ever
If I had to rate the attack on the Twin Towers from the Muslims, I'd give it a 9/11.
"Hey, today was great!"
"What happened?"
"I ran into my ex today."
"What's so great about that?"
"I was in my car!"
Me: Pretend your name is “puberty.”
Friend: Ok?
Me: I'mma hit puberty!
*hits my friend*
Your hairline dates so far back like when your dad left.
A panda walks into a restaurant, orders some food, and eats it. Once he was done, he shoots the waiter, then leaves.
Police and detectives arrive at the scene. They ask the waiter, "Who did this to you? What happened?"
The waiter replies, "A panda, eats, shoots, and leaves."
What are twins’ favorite fruit?
Pairs 🍐.
What’s the difference between a mediocre thief and professional thief?
The mediocre thief will say “give me all your money!”
And a professional thief will say “sign here please.”
What's the sun's favorite chocolate? Mars bar.
Orphan's prayer: In the name of the Father, The Son, The Holy Spirit. Amen.
A kid just becomes an orphan, well, I guess it's better than being a hobo.
I heard there is a zozo hobo who eats all your Pringles.
Why did the football coach go to the bank?
To get his quarterback!
Why did the golfer change his pants? Because he got a hole in one!
What does the right eye say to the left eye?
Between you and me, something smells!
What's worse than one dead baby in a trash can?
One dead baby in ten trash cans.
It's really great that you can make fun of orphans, 'cause what are they going to do? Tell their parents?
My joke: You have to guess, answers come at 3:00. Why did the cow jump into space?
Hint... it smelled its favorite food 🍱 and saw its future!
That hint was technically the whole answer. Can you guess in 3 hours? Lol, I will be posting every time, and my giveaway starts at 5:00: my mega fly ride bat dragon 🐉 and five jungle eggs.
I would rather do my own laundry, not my uncle's laundry, because I ain't no damn butler like Alfred from Batman. I don't live in no damn Batcave by Gotham tity.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Lettuce in.
Lettuce in who?
Lettuce in, it's cold out here!
A bear walked into the bar and said, "Can I have a cola and a...whisky?" The bartender says, "What's with the big paws?"
What do you call a group of depressed kids?
A suicide squad.