Worst Jokes Ever
You don't have a forehead, you have a fivehead.
You don't have dreams, you have movies.
Why couldn't the GREAT WHITE beat the HAMMERHEAD?
because the GREAT WHITE kept getting BONKED on the HEAD by the HAMMERHEAD!
What's the difference between a school bus and a cactus?
On a school bus, the pricks are on the inside.
A father awaits the birth of his first child.
The obstetrician says, "Unfortunately, he has no arms."
The father says, "I'll love it all the same."
But the obstetrician adds, "It is also without legs, trunk, head."
The father says, "I'll love it all the same."
Then the obstetrician confessed to him, "I'm sorry, but only this ear was born."
The father says, "I'll love it all the same."
And the obstetrician says, "Talk to him closer: he's deaf!"
What do you say to your customer at a popsicle stand when he asks for the price?
Dollar a pop!
Get it?
What did Michael Jackson say to the kid sitting on his lap?
"Just beat it."
I tried my best using phone sex online, but the thing about it is the holes cannot fit through.
Why can’t an orphan play baseball? Because they can’t find home.
What card is the slowest and slimiest?
Ace-nail.
Why was the fart on Kickstarter? He just needed some gas.
What falls but never gets hurt? Snow.
(Only Ninjago fans understand XD)
If you look outside and it's really windy, it's really cloudy, and the sky looks greenish... you better run, 'cause it has to be Morro!
Can you tell me the real answer to this joke?
What do you call a drone that takes the long way around?
Dear Grad Parents,
Please pass the attached Commencement schedule on to your graduate(s). We ask that students arrive 15 minutes prior to their scheduled time and that they do not arrive early. Staff will greet the students outside the main entrance. Students may wear cap and gowns and/or formal wear.
There will be more information to follow in the coming days.
Thank you.
What’s the worst part about eating vegetables? Putting them back in the wheelchair.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Why?
To get to the gay kid's house.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
You can’t say “dwarf” anymore; you have to say “little people”.
You can’t say “fat”; you have to say “plus size”.
You can’t say “retard”; you have to say “democrat”.
Why are cops worried about drunk drivers and not elderly drivers?
The general proofreading Hitler's speeches was the original Grammar Nazi.
What does a Jew expecting guests say?
"Oy, vey, are they here yet?"