What kind of fish do people eat?
Deep-fried fish.
Worst Jokes Ever
Why is the sun so mean? Because it keeps ROASTING everyone!
How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb?
To get to the other side.
I thought opening a door for a lady was good manners, but she just screamed and flew out of the plane.
I jump off a cliff and said I hate you, dumb blond, and eagle...Then I said to my wife, "We're done, Blondie," and said to my friend, "You're a dumbhead eagle!"
What's the difference between a sex slave and a goat?
I don't have a sex slave in my basement...
What’s red and white and black all over?
A dead white man at night time!
A Down syndrome child is drowning, he calls for help with all of his voice: "Somebody help me!! I'm Downing!"
BA DUM TSS
I talk about the girls in my math class simping over anime characters and making random ships as well as for Miraculous Ladybug children's show, whatever the show is called, but it's a kids show. 💀 Now they’re searching up pictures of Tom Holland laughing in their absolute weirdness.
I like Tom Holland, but these kids man, they like him like they’re in a relationship. They might as well start kissing and licking the screen. They’re probably writing fanfictions in their free time when they aren’t searching up kids show characters, anime characters, and Tom Holland pics on their SCHOOL CHROMEBOOK. Their only device choice was a school-provided laptop which is monitored by the school while they are writing fan fictions on Google Docs and searching up some weird Tom Holland stuff. Imagine how Tom Holland would feel if he found out that there are 11 year old girls searching up some weird stuff about him.
What is an emo kid's favorite Tool? A rope.
What makes Stephen Hawking and your dumped girlfriend similar?
They can't stand up for themselves.
I don't joke about 9/11 because I lost my dad. He was the best pilot I ever knew.
What do you call an animal flouting?
Super bird!
You've been hit by, You've been struck by, Planes!
When you throw your peanut butter sandwich at the nut allergy table: 25+ kill streak!
"Get off your computer, Jessie Jex."
Ashley said to me one day, "What is my name?"
And I said, "My name is everyday life of stupidity."
Hello, This is Jimmy from Jimmy's Pizzeria and Abortion Clinic! Your next loss is our next sauce! How many pizzas do you need?
Dark humor is like pussy: whining bitches don't get it.
I tried to have phone sex once.
But the holes were too small.