I was using my computer one time and I pressed Ctrl-Alt-Delete, and Stephen Hawking went into a deep sleep.
Worst Jokes Ever
Why can't orphans have sex?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."
Girl: Hey. Boy: Hi? Girl: I need to tell you something... Boy: WHAT? Girl: I like you. Boy: And I hate you. Boy: YOU'RE A CHICKEN 🐔🐔 🐔 Girl: I HATE YOU YOU POOP 💩💩💩💩 Girl: LOSER L Boy: I thought you said you liked me. Girl: SHUT UP CHICKEN/POOP 💩💩🐔 🐔 Boy: GIRL BYE Girl: Bye Felicia.
Two men were on a hike through a forest when one of the hikers got bit on his ass by a snake.
The other hiker ran to the village 2 miles away and explained to a doctor there what had happened. The doctor told him to cut a cross with a knife where he had been bitten and suck out the venom, so he ran back to the first hiker who asked him, "Have you got the cure?"
Hiker number two just said, "Nah mate, you're dead."
What is an orphan's least favorite movie?
Home.
What’s the difference between me and Chester Bennington?
I know how to use an exercise band.
What's the hardest part about sex with a Thai girl?
Her, probably.
Why is the sun famous? Because it’s a shining star.
Sorry for posting this!
Why can’t orphans build computers?
They don’t know where to put the motherboard.
What are the odds of you being in a relationship that is going on in the next few months?
Make this the most liked post.
Why did the kids love the mushrooms?
Because they're fun-guys!
Yo mama's so fat, she used a telephone pole as a tampon.
What is the one sauce Germans avoid on their steak?
"Ajous".
How do you tell when your wife is dead?
The sex is the same, but the dishes pile up.
What is the difference between anal and oral sex?
Oral sex makes your whole day. Anal sex makes your hole weak.
Why does a very tall man allow dwarfs to take turns to suck his balls?
Because he is nuts about them!
Two guys were on a hunting trip, and after the first day of hunting, they didn’t see anything, so they decided the next day they would split up and meet back at the fire at dinner time.
After a day of hunting, they meet back at the fire, and one hunter asked the other, “How did your day go?”
The one hunter said, “I had the best day ever! I went down the hill and hunted by the train tracks and saw the hottest chick ever. We had sex for hours in every position you could think of.”
Then the other hunter asked him, “Was she a good lookin’ blond?” And he said, “Oh, I don’t know, I didn’t find her head.”
Once, there was a kid named Cale, but his classmates didn’t know it was spelled with a “C,” so they asked him if he could be their snack.
A kid with hallucinations and cancer is on a Jeopardy game show.
"What's behind curtain #1... YOU HAVE WON..... CANCER!!!!!!!!!!!!!"