Worst Jokes Ever
Bob: What is the percent of people who are depressed?
Me: If you're only counting me, 100%.
How it be when the new guy takes too long...
Hay Danny, it's me Johnny.
Johnny: Boss says to kill the guy in red. Point the gun at his head.
Danny: Ok, target locked. 3... 2... 1... bang.
Johnny: Danny, hope you did not get the man in red.
Danny: OH MY BRO FOR REALL.
If someone who speaks two languages is bilingual, and someone who speaks many languages is multilingual, then what do you call someone who speaks one language?
An American.
Why do orphans get in trouble at school?
Because the school doesn't have any parents to report to.
Sonic says: "Gotta go fast!"
The Hulk SMASH!
Orphan says: "Gotta go home!"
You say to your slow friend: "Damn, you're slower than Stephen Hawking!" And that takes some talent.
What do you call a one-legged China man?
Ty Whon Shu.
What do trans women bring to lesbian relationships?
Something big and warm 🍆.
Why did the orphan rob the bank?
To buy a house.
Remember 2000? It was scary.
What's the difference between an emo kid and an apple? The apple falls from the tree.
My friend said this to me: "Were you born on a highway? Because that's where most accidents happen." :(
I saw that my brother has brain cancer, so I asked him: "Are you big brain?"
What does an orphan and a lost kid have in common?
They have no way home.
Girl: Dad, where are you?
Dad: I went to go get milk.
Girl: But we have milk.
Dad: I know, I just don't love you.
That autistic kid having sex for the first time:
"U The Hips, U The Hips!"
Why was Stephen Hawking never trusted when taking a quiz?
"No computers allowed on the test!"
Why can't orphans have sex?
Because they have nobody to call "daddy."
"Jack Sparrow."
"Captain, Captain Jack Sparrow!"
When someone says: "You're a mistake."
Say: "The only mistake I see is right in front of me."