Asked my dad what LGBT stands for
He started with "Lettuce? Bacon. Tomato. What's the 'g' for?" Obviously I had to reply with "Garnish".
"What did the mama tomato say to the baby tomato? Catch up!"
I was making a coffee for my boss and this was the supposed recipe:
1 egg 1 tomato diced bell peppers a bag of sugar sea salt coffee beans rusted nails
I got fired and spent the next 20 years in prison with a dude named Papa Bear
Here are 20 jokes for you:
Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything! What did one wall say to the other wall? I'll meet you at the corner! Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts! Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field! How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together! Did you hear about the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers? He'll stop at nothing to avoid them! How does a bee style its hair? With a honeycomb! Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired! What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta! What's the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snowballs! Why don't eggs tell jokes? Because they might crack up! Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything! What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear! Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts! What did one plate say to the other plate? Dinner is on me! Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing! Why don't seagulls fly over the bay? Because then they would be bagels! Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems! How does a computer get drunk? It takes screenshots! What do you call a sleeping bull? A bull-dozer! I hope these jokes brought a smile to your face! Let me know if you'd like to hear more.
Cereal is like... breakfast soup made out of corn flakes Ketchup is like... a smoothie because of the tomato Coffee is like... a bean drink energizer My life is like... the shoe rack-
What do you call a red potato?
A tomato 🍅
(I know it’s cringe)
Hey what’s your favorite type of tomato? Mine is Sundyed tomato
Get it sundyed like son died
Why are tomatoes red? Because they contain the carotenoid lycopene !!
XD RawR woof woof bark bark UwU meowwwww ROFL LMAO LOLOLOOLOLOL KEKW KEKW PEPELASUGH
What did a tree say to the tomato?
Nothing! Trees don't talk silly.
How do you fix a broken pizza with tomato paste
What’s the difference from a orphan and a tomato
The tomato’s get picked.
why did the tomato cross the road to ketchup with his friends on the other side
Why are tomates green. because they rot like your mum
McNeill mom wrote a shopping list for supper ... cabbage _50 Carrots-50 Cooking fat -100 Onions_20 Tomato-20 salt-10 Total=250 she gave McNeill the list to get the ingredients. McNeill took long to return home from the shopping ... His mom decided to call McNeill to ask why are taking long . McNeill answered I have all the ingredients but I'm looking for total
Today i went to get a sub and they asked me if i wanted all vegetables.. I said no, leave some for the rest of the customers.
(there was a mommy tomato, a daddy tomato and a baby tomato)
Baby: wait for me!
(father tomato walks back towards the baby)
(he squishes the child)
Father: Ketchup
With did the tomato say to the other tomato
