I wrote an essay today about africa and I FAILED even though i wrote a perfect rendition of the hunger games storyline
I got in trouble at school today because i told the teacher at school with covid to stay postive
“Poor old fool,” thought the gentleman as he watched an old man fish in a puddle outside a pub. He invited the old man inside for a drink. The gentleman asked, “So how many have you caught today?
”The old man replied, “You’re the eighth.”
(True story) Today I was bring some tortilla chips upstairs for some chips and dip, and I dropped them, so my mom goes “oh, now they’re broken.” And I took an opportunity to make a pun, so I said, “No, they’re just chipped.”
Today I put the women’s rights book in the fantasy section of a library
My bother apparently has this thing called "asthma", anyways I took his vape away today and he was lying on the floor gasping for air lol. He must really be addicted to it.
Today I was at the Apple Store when I saw that a lot of phones were broken. When I looked around I saw none other than Pristiano Penaldo smashing all the phones. He said he was mad because he ghosted vs a relegation team. Shame on you Penaldo!
WELCOME TO THE FAST FOOD DIVORCE CENTER WHERE YESTERDAYS LIES ARE TODAYS FRIES
Let's take a look at the Swedish bench for today's game. 12.99 from Ikea.
Today my mom gave me a lecture on how to stay safe during school shootings and when my brother walked past my mom asked me a question "what do you think of going through kids heads during a school shooting " That's when my brother came back downstairs and said to me and my mom "bullets" we don't talk about this anymore
Today is Good Friday, so there will be no meat for us to eat. Instead we have to do what lesbians do and eat fish.
today was the worst day of my life, my ex got hit by a bus, and i lot my as a bus driver
I went to Starbucks today and they asked what I wanted and I replied with "to die, a shot of bleach and an deppresso expresso".
I was going to buy a watch today but I didn't have time
Men built civilisations Men went to the moon Men invented the modern comforts of today’s society
Women did none of those They are useless, only fit to be baby making machines
i went to my local shooting range today but was surprised when i saw on the news that there was a school shooting in my shooting range, i dont know who snitched...
My ex died today. I also lost my job as a butcher
Hi guys. I am so happy and proud of myself and i thought i should share with you!! Today i saw myself on TV when i turned it off.
What is the difference between the human rights act of a home from school and walk walk home and walk walk home from school and walk walk home and walk walk home from school and walk walk home and walk walk home from school and walk walk home and walk walk home from school and walk
Person 1: “How many ph vids have you watched today? Person 2: “Seven” Person: 1: “What the fuck dude..” Person 2: “I know right? I’ve gotten seven ads for Pizza Hut in the past hour.” (Based on an encounter I had recently)
