Time Jokes

I CAN MAKE 9/11 JOKES BUT EVERY TIME I DO THEY CRASH AND BURN

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

Q: How are Clocks like Pedophiles? A: They both stop an 12

I heard a neat little trick you can use to have a public pool all to yourself. If you blow a whistle 3 times, everyone will just get out!

we sped up the cycle of life and death, we gave eric and dylan a shortcut

When is a right time to dance on a body? If it is under the floorboards

Sometimes I just wake up in the morning and think damn better luck next time

Why do Pirates say "Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!" ? First time out at sea, they prepare for battle and say to their commander: "The canons be ready Captain!" "Are" says the Captain (correcting their grammar) "Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!" they all exclaimed !!

You know how bad of a person you are when you figure out how long You wait to smash, for me and my girlfriend it was between the first plane crash and the last tower falling

I was kicked out of a orphanage kitchen because I yelled hurry up some of us have homes to get back to.

It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys. It's true. I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.

Every time I work late at the hospital, I help the patients sleep. There isn't a snooze button on the beeping things, so I unplug them

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

one time my dad was an orphan, so I questioned where he learned to parent

A guy and girl had sex poem competition. Guy: "Two times two is four, four plus five is nine. I can put mine in yours, but you can't put yours in mine." Girl: "Two times two is four, four plus five is nine. I know the length of yours, but you won't know the depth of mine."