How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb? It only takes one but it takes a long time and the light bulb has to want to change.
Do you know where time is? because it keeps flying by.
Chuck Norris was a kamikaze pilot. 12 times.
What do orphans and olden day actors have in common? Both get food thrown at them some of the time.
*I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast any time" so I ordered French toast during the Renaissance.― Steven Wright
Will you remember me in 7 years?(yes) knock knock (who's there)
I was going to tell you a cow joke...
but it's pasture bed time.
Me and my friend went to the park, after a while we grabbed our little princess and said "it's time to go sweetie" but before we could go someone said "stop them they have my daughter!"
How do you know when it’s bedtime at Michael Jackson’s house?
The big hand is on the little hand!
They finally made a movie about a clock, about time
So this guy is talking to his buddy about his flying lessons. My first time in the air, my instructor informed me but he was an 8th degree black belt and homosexual, and if I don't succumb to his sexual advances I would have to jump out of the plane, and his buddy says "well did you jump?"the guy says yeah, a little at first.
What's the difference between a black & a white fairy tail? White begins, "Once upon a time..." Black begins, " Yall mutherfuckers aint gonna believe dis shit"
Dream tweeted, and I quote “Babies kick pregnant women all the time but I do it one time and I’m the one arrested.”
Why is time important? To not be late
Why do women always have sex with the lights off?
Because they never like to see a man having a good time.
Time to go to New York to visit the twin towers.
They’re already getting closer
1 time i went to high five some one ive been left hanging ever since
Why don’t Chinese people model because it would look like the same model every time
What is an orphans favourite time with his family
me time
Is it weird that a Milk Carton has a date and I don’t.
