Did you hear about the new Oasis restaurant?
Every time you order soup, you got a roll with it.
Guy walks to his friends house his friend says “where is your girlfriend” guy says meet me at the cemetery in a week
“My Mum told me the best time to ask my Dad for anything was during sex. Not the best advice I’d ever been given. I burst in through the bedroom door saying, ‘Can I have a new bike?’ He was very upset. His secretary was surprisingly nice about it. I got the bike.”
You know if you Poo on the toilet at 11:59 pm... then at 12:01 am, its just the same shit , different day.....
Why did the orphan sit alone in the corner? They wanted some family time.
Why was the twin towers so good at football? They were the best wide receiver of their time!
One time their was a depressed man standing in the middle of a train track a girl said excuse me can you move please I’m trying than the man stopped her sentence and said how is your t shirt so clean than she said back easy hung it up
If I had a dime for every time someone has told me to KILL MYSELF I'd be a millionaire.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
What time when the terrorist get to new york city? 9:11am
Dad: If you study, then I will buy you a new iPhone. Son: Okay, I'll do it! 5 hours later... Son: I'm done! Dad: I lied. Son: So did I!
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Why did Jesus create the Devil?
He didn't recognize himself through the time portal.
They said time heals all wounds, well I broke your watch.
Sally had (69) boobs witch was (2,2,2) many (69222)so she went to the doctor on (51)st street ( 6922251) whom gave her pills she took (x8) times a day and now she is boobless
what is i joke that will never end even tho you want it to? For me life
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
What’s the difference between a dog and parents?
If an orphan calls their name only the dog comes back.
🎵Penaldo Thrills🎵 C’mon c’mon turn the VAR on It's Penalty time and it won't be long Gotta dive and cry some more It's Penalty time and it won't be long ‘Til I Hit the floor and dive alot Cry some more and dive alot. that all i need, because I got u my love, Penalty.
it took me 9.11 seconds to realize
