Time jokes

Blondes like their men how they like their rice: brown, 500 at a time, and all in her bowl.

I like my orphans how I like my wine, locked in my basement for ten.

My last 15 minutes as a 23 y/o!!

It's not my birthday, but a scary-looking man with a crowbar just broke into my house.

I sleep in a castle once every 2 weeks.

It's my fort knight.

Has Covid-19 forced you to wear glasses and a mask at the same time?

You may be entitled to condensation.

I tell dad jokes all the time even though I’m not actually a dad.

I’m a faux pa.

Q: What did Britney say to Kevin when they were in bed?

A: "Hit me baby one more time."

Your mum is so slow, it took her nine months to make a joke.

if you play minecraft: your dog is still waiting for you in the world you made along time ago.

People wear chokers, and I'm a choker too, because I tried to choke myself 6 times.

What time do terrorists arrive in New York City?

9:11 AM

Did you hear about the woman who put her husband’s ashes in a burrito?

He gets to tear that ass up one more time.

My dad told me a joke one time. When I realized the joke, the second tower was hit.

Straight people ask why gays have such a good fashion sense.

They have to come out of the closet sometime.

One time a blind person grabbed my arm thinking it was something else.

"Oh wow, this is such an interesting book!"

What did Chris Brown say the first time he saw Rihanna?

I’d hit that.

I’ve been munching away on these new Tic Tacs recently and honestly, they are really good.

It’s a little strange how they came in a bottle labeled “Ibuprofen” though, and really, I’m starting to feel a little sick. The bottle’s almost empty though, so it’s time to get some more!

What’s the difference between my ex and a unicycle?

A unicycle can only take one person at a time.

If two blind people meet, one of them says: "Long time, no see!"

Why was 10 scared?

Because it was in the middle of 9/11.