Time jokes

I once made a belt out of clocks.

It was a waist of time.

A blonde drops off her dress to the dry cleaners.

The lady says, "Come again!"

The blonde says, "No, it's toothpaste this time."

Why was everybody so tired on April 1st? Because they just finished a March of 31 days!

What did Chris Brown say the first time he saw Rihanna?

I’d hit that.

People wear chokers, and I'm a choker too, because I tried to choke myself 6 times.

Why was 10 scared?

Because it was in the middle of 9/11.

Q: What did Britney say to Kevin when they were in bed?

A: "Hit me baby one more time."

Why are people in Japan so thin?

Because it didn't end well the last time a Fat Man was there.

I tell dad jokes all the time even though I’m not actually a dad.

I’m a faux pa.

if you play minecraft: your dog is still waiting for you in the world you made along time ago.

Has Covid-19 forced you to wear glasses and a mask at the same time?

You may be entitled to condensation.

Your mum is so slow, it took her nine months to make a joke.

How is a priest like a wristwatch?

They both start at 12.

Did you hear about the woman who put her husband’s ashes in a burrito?

He gets to tear that ass up one more time.

I’ve been munching away on these new Tic Tacs recently and honestly, they are really good.

It’s a little strange how they came in a bottle labeled “Ibuprofen” though, and really, I’m starting to feel a little sick. The bottle’s almost empty though, so it’s time to get some more!

My dad told me a joke one time. When I realized the joke, the second tower was hit.

What’s the difference between my ex and a unicycle?

A unicycle can only take one person at a time.

One time a blind person grabbed my arm thinking it was something else.

"Oh wow, this is such an interesting book!"

Straight people ask why gays have such a good fashion sense.

They have to come out of the closet sometime.

If two blind people meet, one of them says: "Long time, no see!"