Thought jokes

If you have a friend that will not leave you alone about something, just simply tell them: "If you watch something, have you ever thought that you're in a movie when you watch a movie?"

"Yo mama so skinny when she swallowed a meatball, everyone thought she was pregnant again."

"I told my mom I thought parenting got easier as the kids get older, and she laughed so hard she cried a little."

My sister is so stupid, she thought LBJ was Spanish for blowjob.

I used to be in a special needs class, and the teacher sent a student (if you want to call them that) out to the hall for being late.

I asked her, "Why did you send James out to the hall?"

She said, "She was a little tardy."

I asked her, "I thought they all were."

Your mama is so fat, when scientists discovered her, they thought it was a new galaxy.

My grandma walked up on my doorstep and I grabbed my bible... I thought she was a smurf...

Some dude: Water you thinking?

Me: You're drowning in my head.

Friend: If you could get rid of any one person in your life, who would it be?

Me: Me.

Friend: *does nothing*

(x_x)

I forgot that I don't have friends.

I was at work and then a little kid came up to me and she said, "What happened to all the parents?" She sounded so confused, so I told her, "It's only yours, kid, they left you on purpose." She cried. I felt bad for a second and thought, oh well, time to get back to my job at the orphanage.

A man was walking home but felt tired, so took a short cut through the cemetery. He then heard a tap, tap, then out of the corner of his eye, he saw a man with a hammer hitting the tombstone. The man said, "You scared me. I thought you were a ghost." The other person mumbled, "They spelled my name wrong."

Attention! Has anyone noticed that Watersharky and Kitten are dating? It's strange because they haven't said anything for 28 DAYS!!! They been keeping it a secret...(I guess). Someone needs to keep track of this. GOD, I just thought further into life with their relationship. DON'T DO THAT.

No joke. I just want to say that my thoughts are with the Ukrainian people, and I wish them the best. Best of luck.

Yo mama so dumb, she thought "The Squid Game" was an all-you-can-eat buffet.

A morbid joke would be what's going on in my mind.

So a kid asks his dad, "Why was I born?"

The dad replies, "I thought that girl was dead!"

I told my friend an egg joke yesterday.

He thought it was eggcellent.

We were so poor that every time I passed by a butcher shop, I thought there had been a horrible accident.

I once had an owl who I thought it would fly away.

I was gonna tell you a sodium joke, but Na, only I thought it was so dium funny.