Yo mama is so stupid she thought keeping you was a good idea
Try to make a joke, but not about yourself.
Well, I have nothing.
I thought the dryer made my clothes shrink.
Turns out it was the fridge.
Your forehead so big you got to go outside to think.
Exercise? I thought you said "extra fries."
Your daddy's so fat, he tripped over a rock. He thought it was a chip.
Yo mama so stupid she thought seaweed was something fish smoke.
Who wants to laugh about life with me?
I thought about going on an all-almond diet.
But that’s just nuts.
We thought that my mother died in the best way possible, during her sleep.
But when we did an autopsy on her, we saw she actually died in the worst way possible. During the autopsy.
Once I was asked to perform snail jokes at a stand-up comedy night. I certainly snailed it because the crowd thought it was shellerious.
My grandfather said that ppl rely on technology too much these days, so I thought about what he said and decided to unplug his life support.
Yo mama so fat, when she was wearing black by a bank which was getting robbed, they thought, "AHH SWAT!"
Yo mama so fat, when she was telling me her weight, I thought she was telling me her number.
Quote of the day:
Just one small positive thought in the morning can change your whole day.
[Comment your favorite fall beverage!]
If Opposition Expunged thought he was an animal, what would Thearchy be called?
Therianarchy!
I thought the Sahara was the largest desert until I saw your forehead.
"We can't go under... We can't go over... Oh no, we got to go through it!"
I've recently been treated with Asthma and have been prescribed penicillin. One day I was taking it and a man screaming "SUIII" came into the room and stole it! He thought the penicillin would give him penalties. I couldn't breathe, shame on you Penaldo for ruining my life!
I was at a My Chemical Romance meet and greet that Gerard didn’t attend, I just thought... “NO WAY!”
