Thought jokes

Your mum is so fat, she thought Dunkin' Donuts was a basketball team.

Your hairline is so far back that when I put on my glasses, I thought I saw an "M" for McDonald's on your hairline.

Yo mama so fat, when she was telling me her weight, I thought she was telling me her number.

So many things are going through my head.

How am I not dead yet?

Quote of the day:

Just one small positive thought in the morning can change your whole day.

[Comment your favorite fall beverage!]

"Your mother has been with us for 20 years," said John. "Isn’t it time she got a place of her own?"

"My mother?" replied Helen. "I thought she was your mother."

My grandfather said that ppl rely on technology too much these days, so I thought about what he said and decided to unplug his life support.

Why did a Mexican go to Home Depot?

Because he thought it said "Home Deport."

If Opposition Expunged thought he was an animal, what would Thearchy be called?

Therianarchy!

I've recently been treated with Asthma and have been prescribed penicillin. One day I was taking it and a man screaming "SUIII" came into the room and stole it! He thought the penicillin would give him penalties. I couldn't breathe, shame on you Penaldo for ruining my life!

I thought the Sahara was the largest desert until I saw your forehead.

"We can't go under... We can't go over... Oh no, we got to go through it!"

I was at a My Chemical Romance meet and greet that Gerard didn’t attend, I just thought... “NO WAY!”

Exercise? I thought you said "extra fries."

Your daddy's so fat, he tripped over a rock. He thought it was a chip.

Your forehead so big you got to go outside to think.

Who wants to laugh about life with me?

I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that’s just nuts.

Try to make a joke, but not about yourself.

Well, I have nothing.

I thought the dryer made my clothes shrink.

Turns out it was the fridge.