Thought jokes

My grandfather said that ppl rely on technology too much these days, so I thought about what he said and decided to unplug his life support.

So many things are going through my head.

How am I not dead yet?

Yo mama so fat, when she was telling me her weight, I thought she was telling me her number.

Quote of the day:

Just one small positive thought in the morning can change your whole day.

[Comment your favorite fall beverage!]

Yo mama so fat, when she was wearing black by a bank which was getting robbed, they thought, "AHH SWAT!"

Your mum is so fat, she thought Dunkin' Donuts was a basketball team.

Your hairline is so far back that when I put on my glasses, I thought I saw an "M" for McDonald's on your hairline.

I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that’s just nuts.

Your daddy's so fat, he tripped over a rock. He thought it was a chip.

Your forehead so big you got to go outside to think.

Exercise? I thought you said "extra fries."

Who wants to laugh about life with me?

Yo mama so stupid she thought seaweed was something fish smoke.

Yo mama is so stupid, she thought keeping you was a good idea!

What word starts with n and ends with r and you wouldn’t wanna call a Black person?

You really thought n****r, didn't you?

Why did Amy Winehouse snort Splenda?

She thought it was Diet Coke.

What did the autistic kid say to his girlfriend after they broke up?

"I thought what we had was special!"

Roses are red, violets are blue. I thought Voldemort was ugly, then I saw you.

Your hairline is pushed back; we can see what you are thinking of.

The ball kept getting bigger and bigger...

And then it hit me.