Thought Jokes

Yo mama so stupid she thought Kobe Bryant survived the plane crash

yo mama so stupid, that she thought NASA is a GAMING PROGRAM!!!!

I got a chicken drum stick for lunch, thought I might DRUM up and appetite

i thought i told u the lock up when i left this morning this is why our shit gets stolen all the time

why did the blonde run outside naked? she thought the steam was a gas leak

I feel bad for cumming on my turtle

Why the fuck would I do that. I should have never masturbated in front of my turtle. So basically I was watching porn in my 55 inch tv and my turtle was next to me in the couch. The porno was really old. It was a DVD from 2002. It was probably the hottest porn I have ever watch and honestly I'm probably going to watch porn on dvd instead from the internet. The only reason I had my turtle with me was because whenever I cum, I feel really depressed and lonely, so I thought that if my turtle watched with my I wouldn't feel lonely. Well I started stroking my willie, I used lotion, i took all my clothes off, but my dumbass forgot the tissues. I realized that I forgot to grab tissues but it was too late. I was going to cum. I didn't want to cum everywhere so I had to think fast. It was when I saw my turtle when I realized what I had to do. I came like a motherfucker. My turtle was painted with my cum in his tiny little face and all around his shell. He didn't say a word about it, he didn't move, he just stood there looking at me like I killed a bunch of children. I would never forgot the look my turtle gave me. His disappointing face broke my heart. I put on my clothes, I took my turtle to the bathroom and cleaned him off. What happened, happened. But my turtle would never forgot what happened. My turtle, Tommy, would never forgive me. Today, I passed by him and I know he still remembers what i did to him 3 hours ago. My only wish, is that one day, Tommy the turtle will forgive me for my horrible sins.

I went to see my grandfather in the hospital because I Wanted to get to know him better before he passed, maybe take a selfie with him. But when I got there my phone died so I unplugged a vacuum to plug in my phone, and it turns out he only knows Spanish so When he kept saying "Me desconectaste el soporte de mi vida." I thought he wanted water, but when I got back with the water he was asleep and now my phone was charged so I translated what he said. And it was "You unplugged my life support", that's when I called the doctor...

Good news is, I got one sick selfie!

My sister is so stupid she thought LBJ was a blow job

I just went to India and thought why do they have so many sniper hitmen turns out the red dot isn't a sniper laser

There was a fish looking for a great meal, he looks above him and See's a fly. He thought ' If that fly drops six inches, I would have a meal ' long story short A pussy gets wet

Your mama is so fat that when she went to run in a yellow jumpsuit the kids thought they missed the school

Your mama is so stupid. Patrick Starr ran away cuz he thought she might be contagious.

I thought gender reveal parties were only for new borns, not for teen agers.

Yo momma so stupid, when someone got cardiac arrest, she tried to put the person to court, and when the judge said "ORDER AT THE COURT", she thought it's a food court, and order 20 big macs and got a heart attack

I got a ps5 for my nine year old sister. At the time I thought it was the best trade I’d ever made. But now I’m regretting not being able to molest her anymore

Your forehead is so big I thought it was a brick wall

YOUR SO GODDAMN STUPID YOU THOUGHT DUNKIN DONUTS WAS A BASKETBALL TEAM.

This is not a joke have you ever thought about it you’re an emo while wearing black So what if you are black does that mean you’re an emo because you are black and emails wear a black ;)