This jokes

A doctor slept with one of his patients and thought to himself, "This is wrong, but some doctors do it..." He is a vet.

I don't have any friends.

If you like this, I can be your friend :)

I didn’t wanna tell you, but I had to write this song, cause I’m in your house every night doin' your mom.

I got pranked so many times. Once I saw two wheels rolling down the street. I heard this noise. I looked behind me. There's a legless man in a wheelless chair screaming, "HELP! I CAN'T GO ANYWHERE!" but I walked away. I knew it was a prank.

Life is a bitch, and people make it worse.

This thing that I'm in ("am") is a forsaken curse (beta).

Voting is like doing a group project in school.

I did my part, but I’m worried the rest of you are going to fuck this up.

What did Jesus say when he was left hanging on the cross?

"Well this is one hell of a way to spend my Easter vacation!"

My husband left a note on the fridge that said, "This isn't working." I'm not sure what he's talking about. I opened the fridge door and it's working fine!

Why does this exist?

Nothing is free in this world, including "Free Palestine."

If you're reading this, you are Nickel and Gallium......

Ni- ........*something else in between the two halves*................Ga

YOU FUCKING MONKEYS!

What the fluff happened to this website?

What did the blind kid say after receiving a cheese grater for Christmas?

"This is the most violent book I’ve ever read."

Chuck Norris is a genius for this: Walker Texas Ranger = Wrangler Karate Sex.

So, me and my girlfriend that I just got 7 weeks ago, we’re in class. We had this sub named Mrs. Bellatrix.

We both raised our hands and she called on both of us.

Me: First of all, are we in kindergarten? We can’t be doing 4x4 kinda stuff.

Leah: And also, are you from Harry Potter?

Attention! Has anyone noticed that Watersharky and Kitten are dating? It's strange because they haven't said anything for 28 DAYS!!! They been keeping it a secret...(I guess). Someone needs to keep track of this. GOD, I just thought further into life with their relationship. DON'T DO THAT.

This is supposed to be worst puns but most of them are not puns.

There are 3 things wrong with this world.

1. Spelling

2. Maths.

At night time, in Africa, it's known as the darkest country. Till this day, I still wonder why.

Guy: Do you know how to draw woman's rights?

Girl: No, how?

Guy: All you need is a blank paper and reality.