This jokes

Why did the sperm cross the road?

I put on the wrong socks this morning.

Can you tell me the real answer to this joke?

What do you call a drone that takes the long way around?

So I made a parody for "Me, Myself, and I." It goes like this: "Me, Myself, and I, I'm gonna drink bleach until I die!"

I don't have any friends.

If you like this, I can be your friend :)

Life is a bitch, and people make it worse.

This thing that I'm in ("am") is a forsaken curse (beta).

I didn’t wanna tell you, but I had to write this song, cause I’m in your house every night doin' your mom.

I got pranked so many times. Once I saw two wheels rolling down the street. I heard this noise. I looked behind me. There's a legless man in a wheelless chair screaming, "HELP! I CAN'T GO ANYWHERE!" but I walked away. I knew it was a prank.

A doctor slept with one of his patients and thought to himself, "This is wrong, but some doctors do it..." He is a vet.

Me: God, Bryce, do we really have to talk about this again?

Bryce: What?

Me: You're still talking shit!! I already told you! It's 9 inches! Stop saying it's 3!

P.S. I'm a girl.

I was submitting this joke, and I realized Stephen Hawking couldn't.

It had the reCAPTCHA "I'm not a robot."

Knock, knock. Who's there? Wakanda? Wakanda who? WAKANDA ENDING IS THIS?

Teacher: How many kids are in this classroom?

Kid: 73 if you count the ones you have hid in the basement.

So, me and my girlfriend that I just got 7 weeks ago, we’re in class. We had this sub named Mrs. Bellatrix.

We both raised our hands and she called on both of us.

Me: First of all, are we in kindergarten? We can’t be doing 4x4 kinda stuff.

Leah: And also, are you from Harry Potter?

Attention! Has anyone noticed that Watersharky and Kitten are dating? It's strange because they haven't said anything for 28 DAYS!!! They been keeping it a secret...(I guess). Someone needs to keep track of this. GOD, I just thought further into life with their relationship. DON'T DO THAT.

This isn’t much of a joke, but here's a pickup line. Are you a marshmallow? Because I wanna put my stick in you.

An Emo kid in a tree falls. At the same time an apple falls from the same tree, what hits the ground first? The apple would be due to the kid's rope and noose.

This category is messed up.

My Mom died in 9/11, at least she was doing what she loved, flying planes.

Guy: Do you know how to draw woman's rights?

Girl: No, how?

Guy: All you need is a blank paper and reality.

At night time, in Africa, it's known as the darkest country. Till this day, I still wonder why.

Have you heard anything about this Chuck Norris guy? Yeh, me neither.