This jokes

Life is a bitch, and people make it worse.

This thing that I'm in ("am") is a forsaken curse (beta).

My husband left a note on the fridge that said, "This isn't working." I'm not sure what he's talking about. I opened the fridge door and it's working fine!

Why does this exist?

Nothing is free in this world, including "Free Palestine."

What did the blind kid say after receiving a cheese grater for Christmas?

"This is the most violent book I’ve ever read."

This place is gonna boom in a few days, just like the towers.

What the fluff happened to this website?

What did Jesus say when he was left hanging on the cross?

"Well this is one hell of a way to spend my Easter vacation!"

Voting is like doing a group project in school.

I did my part, but I’m worried the rest of you are going to fuck this up.

Chuck Norris is a genius for this: Walker Texas Ranger = Wrangler Karate Sex.

Arab rizz. Are you a tower? Because I wanna blow you up and don't let your friend know about this. Rashid, I told you not to blow it up, I had it.

The greatest Arab pilot, my grandfather.

People on 1912: This ship is unsinkable, even God himself couldn’t destroy it.

God: Ok, bet, where’s my icebergs?

A panda walks into a restaurant, orders some food, and eats it. Once he was done, he shoots the waiter, then leaves.

Police and detectives arrive at the scene. They ask the waiter, "Who did this to you? What happened?"

The waiter replies, "A panda, eats, shoots, and leaves."

This rat did the most amazing thing ever; it was pretty radical, dude.

A doctor slept with one of his patients and thought to himself, "This is wrong, but some doctors do it..." He is a vet.

I was submitting this joke, and I realized Stephen Hawking couldn't.

It had the reCAPTCHA "I'm not a robot."

So I made a parody for "Me, Myself, and I." It goes like this: "Me, Myself, and I, I'm gonna drink bleach until I die!"

Knock, knock. Who's there? Wakanda? Wakanda who? WAKANDA ENDING IS THIS?

Me: God, Bryce, do we really have to talk about this again?

Bryce: What?

Me: You're still talking shit!! I already told you! It's 9 inches! Stop saying it's 3!

P.S. I'm a girl.

All real chemists know that alcohol is always a solution.

I did this chemistry joke yesterday, but I didn't get a reaction.