Think Jokes

You need a good place to think? You can sit on my lap, and we’ll see the first thing that pops up!

People always often say to someone who are thinking about suicide that's the easy way out don't give up all I say is I'm not giving up just I'm giving in and does it really seem like it's the easiest way out I don't think so it's probably the hardest if you ask me,or I would have done it already, but someone's got to do it

A doctor is at a bar one night and notices a young lady at the counter, he approaches her and says "Hello there miss, pardon my intrusion but I was curious to know if someone were to pay you a million dollars to sleep with them, would you?" The young lady smiles and says "That's a lot of money, of course I would." The doctor smiles and says "That's interesting, but what if someone were to pay you 5 dollars to sleep with them, would you?" The young lady says "What are you joking? That's no money at all, Of course I wouldn't, what do you think I am?" The Doctor smiles again and says "We already established what you are, now we're trying to establish a price."

When you ask your friend if he thinks lunch is good but he says that he doesn't taste anything

I have a joke about death. Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

Think about it :)

If you think no one cares about you, stop paying your taxes

If you think long and hard Oral sex is like Cannibals

My boyfriend thinks he’s hilarious Him: How do you break things Me: you break things up Him: okay Me: is everything okay Him: were a twig. We’re breaking up

I would make a joke about Kobe but I don't think it would fly very well

What time do you think 🤔 dogs 🐶 are not happy 😆? Bulldogs

What's the difference between a dead baby in my trash can and a discarded sex toy?

....

I'm still trying to think of an answer.

Sad to think about legend O.G. Mudbone being no longer with us.

I’m only curious how they closed his casket.

Why did the people think Stephen hawking was disrespectful? Cause he didn’t stand up for the national anthem

Little Johnny was in kindergarten and his teacher said, "okay everyone, Tomorrow you must come to school and recite the first three letters of the alphabet". Johnny didn't know the alphabet so he decided to ask his family. He walked in the kitchen to find his mom on the phone. He says, "Mamma, what's the first letter of the alphabet?" His mom doesn't notice him standing there and says, "If you don't shut the fuck up right now-" So he goes to find his brother watching TV and he says, "Tommy what's the Second letter of the alphabet?" His brother doesn't notice him and says, "I'm Batman". So He went to his Grandma who was knitting and says, "Grandma what's the third letter of the Alphabet?" The grandma then realizes she left her biscuits in the oven for too long and says, "My biscuits are burning! My Biscuits are burning!" Satisfied with the answers given to him he thinks it over and goes to school the next morning. When his teacher come to Johnny she says, "Johnny what are the first three letters of the alphabet?" "If you don't shut the fuck up right now" - Johnny "Who do you think you are young man to talk to someone like me that way?" - teacher "I'm Batman" - Johnny The teacher whups his ass and little johnny says, "My biscuits are burning! My Biscuits are burning!"

Later that day he understands what happened and can't tell which was worse that he accidentally cussed to his teacher or that his family was ignoring him.